This Love (Belly's Version)

Summer 9

"What's your problem?"

Jocelyn rolled her eyes and turn back to watch the tv. The living room was empty but the boys were playing card games in the kitchen.

"I know you hear me."

My whisper gets slightly louder. Luckily the TV is pretty loud so the boys don't hear me. Jocelyn continues to ignore me. A whole week later and she was still mad. We hadn't kissed since that day on the beach. Not that I wanted to. I definitely didn't want to.

But she was distant. She pushed herself to the edge of the bed every night instead of hugging me like she usually does. And no matter how much I asked, she never answered. I scoff and fall back into the couch. I didn't understand. What had I done so wrong? Was she upset because I left to play with Conrad and the boys? If she was, that would be a stupid thing to be mad about. She knows I like him! So what else? What else could be wrong?

"You're my only friend here."

Jocelyn's voice is small. Her head is turned to look at me, her eyes wide and staring.

"No I'm not. The boys-"

"Leave us both out of pretty much everything. Or atleast, ME out of everything."

Jocelyn shrugs and bites the inside of her cheek. That was bullshit. The boys did their own thing a lot but I still got included sometimes.

"Not everyone has a boy who's inlove with them. Conrad includes you because he likes you. But besides that? You're my only friend. And when you just dropped everything to go to him, I was upset. I am upset."

My heart drops and I'm hit with a wave of guilt. This entire time, this is how she was feeling?

"Jocelyn I'm so...I'm sorry."

Jocelyn's big eyes continue to stare at me. So full of kindness and hope. I was the one who was being mean. I want paying attention to one of my best friends. I immediately pulled her in for a hug. She jumped at the sudden movement but I eventually felt her arms wrap around me. Her head rests on my shoulder and her curly hair tickles my face. She sniffles lightly and I feel my shame grow worse.

Why? Why did I ignore her? I should've been a better friend. I should've not just left her for some boy. I squeezed her tighter and made a promise. I promise to never, ever, leave Jocelyn for a boy.

It will never happen.

Not again.