Ring of Mushrooms

13

You held Silver. He crawled into your lap right away. You thought it was sweet of him. You played with his hair as he fought to stay awake. His head dipped down, and he jerked himself away. Then he'd sink down again, until you held him close, letting him lean against your chest, so he could fall asleep peacefully. The carriage moved steadily, it didn't hit any bumps.

He sat across from you like on the ride to the castle. He watched you the whole time as you gently guided Silver to sleep. He sat there with his hands folded together, resting in his lap. His gaze was softer now, but you could see how he was thinking about something. You think you know what it is, but you're not sure if you want to find out. You sit there quietly for much too long, trying to figure out everything without asking. How much did you know? What has been kept from you? How much more did you want to know?

You gazed at the floor. You were focused on nothing, you weren't even sure if your brain was working. Were you even thinking? Your nose seems to burn as you shove a gasp down. You can't crack. There's nothing wrong. Nothing. Nothing is wrong. You're fine. Nothing is wrong, everything is fine. There's nothing to worry about. Just take a damn breath, and be quiet. There are no issues, you have nothing to talk about! Nothing to worry about! You can't bring it up!

What would happen if you said something? Would he be mad? Would he laugh? Is he mad at you? What did you miss? How long have you been lied to? No. That's not right. You've never been lied to, he can't lie, you've just never asked. You've never asked him what you are to him. The stories always warned you that they would never tell you something unless specifically asked, but they couldn't lie, they never could. You know the rules, so what did you miss?

The view fades from the flat valley into the wooden trees that Lilia calls home. You couldn't even say when it happened, or how long you had been staring blankly at your feet. Who knew counting the wood grain could keep someone so shut inside their head?

You couldn't move. Even as your legs buzzed with pins and needles you refused to try to fix it. In a way, it kept you from being completely lost in the webs. It stopped the thought from dragging you down, preventing them from sinking their teeth into your throat. Their drooling maw may have been hovering over your windpipe but perhaps they were too busy savoring watching you fall apart to destroy you just yet.

Then the carriage stopped. You climbed out noticing that Lilia started unloading the luggage. You stood staring at the cottage door. The last time something seemed that intimidating was when you were standing in front of that old man. It felt the same as when you had to close your front door. All the same, anxiety flooded your senses. The doorknob sent sparks down your arm, and you shivered and shook as you pushed the door open.

Silver seemed to notice that he was home as soon as you tried to lay him down. His little fingers grabbed your hand and he whined a sentence, if you could even call it that, that you were unable to understand. You leaned over him pushing his hair back and off of his forehead.

"You continue resting, it's getting late."

You tucked him in and left him in his bed. You stood out in the hall, hovering. The cold door handle was slowly warming, but you watched the boy stir half-asleep as you stood there with the door half-open. Something made your stomach churn, the anxiety you were sure of. The tip of your nose burned similar to that of the cold autumn days, maybe you were closer to crying than you wanted to admit. You left the door slightly cracked, for no real reason, you simply felt as if the boy would crawl out of bed soon enough.

You let yourself into your room. Lilia had already left your suitcases by your bed. You opened one seeing the rich luxurious fabric of your ball outfit in front of you. You stared at it in minor shock. You hadn't expected to keep it. Then after your night with Maleficent? You thought that it would have been left at the palace anyway.

You could almost remember through your slightly hazy memories, where you were half asleep. She kissed your forehead, laughing about something. The mulberry smell of the sheets and her. Her fingers ran down your neck, gently grazing the sore spots she gave you. She whispered in your ear, but you must not have been awake enough to hear it fully. She pulled away, leaving the bed you went to sit up, to gently pull her back, but she laughed tossing the blanket over your head. Something about the cold was said, and then you must have fallen asleep. You felt a little fuzzy. Did she take it to be cleaned and packed so you could take it with you?

You went to place it somewhere safe. You opened the wardrobe that had been filled with Lilia's large collection of luxury clothing. Some of it had been removed, well most of it, only a few of the more difficult-to-store pieces reminded. You hung yours inside. In a way, it felt nice to have it. You had something new and rich, like chocolate from a dream. The shoes you went to put away but were met with a forgotten momento. A small cotton-wrapped bundle that smells heavily of ash and charcoal. You placed the small boots on a shelf and pulled out the bundle. It still carried the weight of that night.

You looked at the suitcases, still half-packed, and you looked at the door to your room. What were you thinking? What ideas were forming without you yet realizing it? You walked towards the door, unsure as to why, or what you were doing. You pressed the bundle close to your chest and you slipped into the hallway and found Lilia dusting the living and dining room.

You dropped it down onto the table. The thud was loud and a small layer of dust was kicked up into the air but not enough to make you sneeze. The cloth wrappings unraveled and the charred remains of a written corpse stared back into Lilia's wide eyes.

"You'll be taking me back to my village, and you better start explaining, dear."