the place under the spotlight | soogyu

Epilogue

"You can't keep doing this Beomgyu."

"It's not my fault that you're such a baby."

Beomgyu's fingers worked their way with the polyester wrapped around his boyfriend's collar. He looped it without a struggle, knowing how to tie a tie like the back of his hand. Can't say the same about Soobin though. Not when he sticks with ribbons over fancy ties because he does the knot like a schoolboy in boy scout.

Soobin held Beomgyu's hands to his chest. His bottom lip jutted out to see if the trick would work—it doesn't, of course, when Beomgyu has seen this far too many times. "It feels suffocating."

"Do you just want it off?"

"Yeah," Soobin melts.

He watched as Beomgyu's hand hovered to reach for the knot. The actor's index finger swiftly slotted its way above the lump, griping what's locking it around Soobin's collar. It was a long wait before Beomgyu finally pulled it off, but rather forcefully as it pulled Soobin in, hitting his nose with Beomgyu's in the process.

Beomgyu smiled before pecking his lips. "Keep it. You need to be presentable for your acceptance speech."

"Acceptance.. Speech."

"You prepared a speech, right?"

Soobin finally snaps out of his daze. He fixed his posture and accepted his fate by adjusting his tie just right. "I won't win anyway."

"You don't know that."

"I just might."

It's been, what, months since the final episode was released and both Dohyun and Taejun got their alternative series ending with differences and learning how to grow embracing them. Taejun continues his great career with majestic talent, while Dohyun earns his spot in jobs he had always dreamed for himself to have—they did, you know, kiss to begin again. Lots of crying and lots of silent reconciliation little by little, before the big 'getting back together'.

Yeonjun cried rivers when they shot the final scene. Far overjoyed and grateful for a successful series to be part of. (Beomgyu couldn't even tease him for it when he was sobbing like a child in the corner. "You have snot all over your face." "Beomie, you have snot on your mouth.")

It was clear as day in Soobin's memories when Beomgyu sat peacefully in his couch, snuggled to his side with blankets pulled to his shoulders, and they watched the last episode airing real-time. Both of them ended up talking about the little things they wanted the characters to be remembered by— "I don't want people to look at this and think it's me."

"What do you want them to see?"

Beomgyu smiles. Similar to the smile he was wearing in Soobin's lockscreen wallpaper. "I want them to see Dohyun. All of Dohyun."

"You know, in Taehyun's first draft, Dohyun cheated on Taejun at the end."

"Well, goddamn!"

Yeah. Watching the episode with Beomgyu was a dream. Had they been in public, people would have thrown them weird looks for laughing hysterically at dramatic scenes. But the highlight of that day were warm hands intertwined underneath the covers.

To say that the show was accepted well would be an understatement. Soobin kept receiving posts Taehyun found about the show: critiques, comments, videos, memes. His favorite ones are Beomgyu's fans saying how grateful they are for finally getting to see Beomgyu on national television again in this light. A brighter light, a more genuine one.

They got nominated for Best Screenplay and Best Drama with actors having nominations of their own. Beomgyu, for the first time in so long, got nominated for Best Actor along with Yeonjun.

Soobin heard them gush about it on a phone call that he eavesdropped on from the kitchen. He was cooking when they got the news, and he almost bumped the pot off the stove when Beomgyu screamed out of nowhere.

"We did it, Soobin! We did it!" He was dancing obnoxiously in the living room, but Soobin could care less. His heart swelled and his eyes watered.

That was the first time Beomgyu saw him cry.

Soobin had his doubts. He was nominated Best New Director and it was overwhelming without a hint of a lie. "I am humbled," He would say in every interview with the calmest voice he could muster, but he was on his knees deep down.

It's one thing that he got the opportunity to do what he loves by investing and on a project Taehyun approached him for specifically, and it's another for getting a certified acknowledgement. When he walked inside the venue after several flashes and clicks from the press, he searched for Beomgyu's figure with Yeonjun on the red carpet foremost. Beomgyu looks the prettiest with the lights and flares, he looks the happiest—Soobin wonders how high does getting acknowledged take Beomgyu when the actor has been overshadowed for so long.

When the announcement came, Soobin was taken back to a memory he had during his earlier days with Beomgyu.

The day after their first dinner with Yeonjun, Taehyun, and Kai; Soobin kept his promise and picked Beomgyu up from his place early in the morning. His manager was wasted, too knocked out to even answer his phone. Beomgyu, then, crossed his arms when he saw the director pulling up.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't show up," Beomgyu welcomed himself to the front seat. If Soobin was keen enough, he would have known that it was the moment Beomgyu bestowed claim over the leather.

Soobin scoffed, "You're welcome?"

They weren't the best of friends that time. Rather, they weren't friends at all. Remembering this now, knowing that he had Beomgyu sleepover last night is almost comedy.

There was tension, but it was a tension Soobin knew came from previous comments he made about Beomgyu's public figure. They didn't talk about that immediately. It took them a few attempts to engage in random conversations before they finally landed on the subject. The elephant in the room if he must say.

"I love the press as much as they love me."

Soobin shook his head. "I don't understand."

"It's okay. I don't either," Beomgyu said. "When all you do is one thing, it starts taking over you. From your words, from your actions, to your mind. It corrupts you."

"And that's okay for you?"

"Well, I got into acting, dated my childhood best friend, and got tangled up in a scandal that almost tore down every single thing I built for myself. I didn't understand how the industry worked. I learned it the hard way."

Soobin tried to sneak a glance at Beomgyu's face. Blank as the silence that followed before another statement that's etched in Soobin's mind.

"But I love what I do. I'm happy when I'm doing what I love."

Soobin doesn't know what to say.

"I hope you know that, dumbass."

And the announcement came like a lightning bolt. "Best Actor goes to Choi Beomgyu."

Soobin watched Beomgyu walk on stage with footsteps he'll trance in a few.

This was the first time he saw Beomgyu cry.

________________

"... I love what I do. I'm happy when I'm doing what I love. And love is love is love is love is love is love..."