the place under the spotlight | soogyu

Chapter Six

They start dating: Dohyun and Taejun.

From a mile away, Yeonjun's "finally" can be heard, and Beomgyu doesn't blame him. It was a painstaking schedule, and the fact that they had to film the kissing scenes in the initial days of shooting is a drag.

It's bittersweet to say the least. Beomgyu used to thank the heavens for a day that's ending, but now it doesn't feel as exciting to see the sun set after a successful shoot. One day, the day after tomorrow will be the release of the first episode, and Beomgyu wouldn't have the courage to monitor feedback. Criticisms will be his pleasure, but hate is inevitable.

He's Choi Beomgyu, of course. His image was already tainted to begin with. Had he not been mixed with Yeonjun previously, then he wouldn't have gotten the role to begin with. So, maybe it was a blessing in disguise that ruined everything he had only to build them up again.

Beomgyu doesn't want to dwell on the detriments from before.

A problem he has to face now is whether he's ready to hear Soobin confess his connection with Beomgyu's company or not. (The latter seems to be the likely side he'll fall into when he keeps thinking about the way Soobin sees him beyond all exceptions.)

"You think so much on your own, Beom."

"Have you heard of minding your own business?"

"If it means being concerned and not doing anything about it—then, no."

Beomgyu is not used to having Yeonjun with him like this. "Let me be, hyung. I'm just thinking about today's shoot."

"Well, I hope you're thinking about how you did great," Yeonjun said. He didn't need to speak any louder than his inside voice when they're in the dressing area.

That made Beomgyu soften in his stern stand. "I know you're trying, and I appreciate that. But, I can't really articulate everything in my head right now. It's like a mush of everything."

"You can start with whatever's floating in your mind right now."

Beomgyu grasps a thought. "I think this is going to be the end of my career."

"Beomie!"

"Listen," Beomgyu interjected. "There's no way anyone is going to cast me again if things go downhill from here."

"If, Beomgyu. You can't say that for sure, because it's futile. Remember that you landed on this major role despite all the drama and dating scandals from before."

It brought him no solace.

The thing about lying is that he had to keep piling them up to be believed. If the truth was out about the transactions made prior to the "auditions"; he's a laughingstock. Lying to Yeonjun meant lying to Taehyun, lying to Taehyun meant lying to everybody in the crew, and lying to the entire crew meant lying to the entire world—it's simply pathetic.

Beomgyu can't even confront Soobin with the smallest courage he can muster.

"I need air," He excused himself, but not before a fleeting hug from the older one.

Turns out, he's still dwelling.

________________

"Dohyun."

"Huh?"

"The scene is done, Beomgyu. You can take a short break."

There are days when the shoot is dull, Beomgyu forgets that the cameras are even rolling. He would have his lines memorized beforehand and know them by heart. It becomes second nature to reply using the words he's assigned to say.