Christmas aboard the nemesis!

Frightening le vehicons!

What is the best way to gather a room full of Vehicons?

Send a mass email to them that Starscream and Knock Out are attending a meeting in the training room with them about some kind of stunt being pulled on Megatron. No, seriously, that is probably one of the easiest ways to get a select group of cybetronians for some secret decorating.

Now the band I am aware of from the 'Un-sleep deprivation room' is not in the room.

"I do not see Starscream and Knock Out here," One vehicon said.

I stood in the middle unnoticed by the vehicons with my arms folded.

"Maybe they are pulling a trick on us!" The second vehicon said.

I make a fake cough.

"Why would they wanna pull a trick on their most loyal soldiers?" Vehicon three asks.

"Because we're just clones to them, that's why Farelp!" The first vehicon said.

I assume Farelp is Vehicon 3.

Also Farelp is the strangest name I ever came across in my lifetime, seriously it is.

"But..." Farelp said. "We're not clones."

"Of course you're not," I said.

"If we're clones to them, then they would stop calling all of us 'Steve' for petes sake!" A fourth vehicon said.

"I miss Steve Irwin!" I cry.

Then all their attention turned down towards me.

"It is Amy!" Farelp screeches

"Run for your sparks!!" The first vehicon cries.

"Don't you dare run from me, you cowards!" I chide them. "Flee from me and you are forever more undeniable cowards in the faceplate of Lord Megatron of One Tree Hill!"

Well that pretty much froze them.

"One tree what?" The fourth vehicon said.

I have heard of a show called One Tree Hill so that is why the first letters are capitalized.

"Hill," I said. "Don't ask." I fold my arms with a snicker. "I need two of you to get a tree from treefreon."

"We do not obey the orders of such pestilence," The fifth vehicon said.

I roll an eye.

"Well..." I said, peeling off skin from my forearm. The skin lands on the floor. "Then what am I?"

The crowd of vehicons stare at my metal forearm designed so cybertronian being shiny.

"The process has begun," The fourth vehicon said.

"She is changing," The second vehicon said.

"To a cybertronian?" I offer.

They had stepped back enough there is whole completely circular area around me.

"Do what she says," The fifth vehicon said. "Farelp and Third-Zero, go get that tree!"

"....Actually three tree's," I said.

"Like she said," The fifth vehicon corrects himself. "Go get 'em trees!"

I saw the third vehicon leave with Farelp towards the doors.

So the third vehicon is 'Third-Zero'; what a very unusual name.

"And don't let the others see ya!" I shout.

The other vehicons stare down towards me.

"Okay guys," I said, rubbing my metal hands. Farelp and Third-Zero left the room. "Who wants to start some decorating while the con's are outside making a wreck and your three 'Steve' pals are getting trees?"

They share awkward glances to each other and then back down towards me.

I take out my Decepticon necklace that Megatron gave to me a couple months ago.

"I have official permission to assemble you all!" I said. "And you get to impress Megatron at the same time."

"Impress Lord Megatron?" The first vehicon said. "Hah, in your dreams."

I frown.

"Apparently Mr Hannigan impressed Lord Megsy Wegsy enough he is the flight command guy!" I said.

A couple vehicons giggle.

...Seriously?

"I arm not intending to sound funny you glitchy tichy fitchy clones!" I shout.

They all stopped giggling.

"And someone must bake energon cookies," I said. "Come loser and let's begin our little mission to make this base decorated in five solar cycles."

"But Megatron would be aboard before then!" The sixth vehicon said.

"Apparently you've forgotten Megatron goes through everything on a planet and usually takes a week to come back," I said. "You are so busy by then you don't notice me being bored, sitting around, and flipping through the computer channels to watch something while ya guys are gone."

They all stare at me.

"So you are the reason why we have TNT stuck!" The first vehicon said.

I shook my head.

"Uh no," I said. "That was not me. That was probably Shockwave the red optic-ed reindeer—" I cover my mouth. "Damn it." I glare at the remaining vehicons and then uncover my mouth. "Lets begin our very important mission; make everyone have the best Christmas ever. Just this once!"