Besotted

PROLOGUE

To love someone is easy, but to maintain it with dedication, selflessness & full trust is not. Only a little have guts to make sacrifices....

                                                              ~Kia

"Okay so... I had Banchoddas at my place a day ago. He was there to help me pack stuff, he never let's me do things alone. Isn't that cute?" I said hurriedly with happiness.

She said- "Yes! It is. Then??" willing to hear everything that happened.

I continued- "While helping, he found the whole bunch of my journals, the new as well as the old ones. He began inspecting them & so I chose to look at them & discuss them with him. Waise bhi bahut time ho gaya tha unhe khole huye"

"I think that's what is triggering & worsening the problem. But you should now concentrate on yourself, you're getting married in a month & are already engaged. Why are you letting those 8 year-old moments ruin your present?" she asked me in her most solemn way.

"I know I know. Am hella excited about the wedding & I've even designed the couture for both of us. You were there at our engagement, you saw na? The way we were twinning (she nods) But you know what? I'm my own enemy. I can't help myself & that's why am here Sudha." I said to her in a convincing tone & Dr Sudha stared at me helplessly. Am seeing her this helpless the first time in our eight meetings.

"Ahh! That's okay. No need to worry" she says while scribbling something on my file. "I'm recommending you to a great friend of mine and I hope she'll be able to help you" she replied while putting the pen down & returning my file to me.

I queried- "But why? Can't you help? You know am not comfortable with anyone rather than you regarding this matter & you also know about my insecurities & trust issues"

She replied back- "Am sorry, but am clueless this time. And if you wanna end all this, you've to keep your insecurities aside. You could meet her today after lunch. I'll call her & describe your case"

I left the cabin in grief. I've my wedding upcoming & I don't want depression & breakdowns to hit me again but now, I've to let out everything in front of a stranger who's gonna judge me. That's heck tiring & emotionally draining.

But I still went there after lunch, hesitant, though I didn't wanted to. But I wanted answers to my questions, which Dr. Sudha couldn't give.

There were no patients at all, which intrigued me & out of curiosity, I asked the secretary about it & she replied that the doctor has canceled all her appointments for today. Hearing this I thought she'd done full preparations for me in advance.

I went near her cabin & knocked on the glass & she gestured me to come in. "If I'm not wrong, you're Aashima right?" she asked me in her commanding voice. "Yes!" I said in a meek tone.

She requested me to sit & took my file. "So, what's the problem?" she asked calmly. But I lost all my remaining calmness after I glanced at her name plate which has been partially hidden behind bundles of papers on the table.

I lost my temper & retorted- "I don't have any problem & why am I referred here?" She didn't react at all & waited for me to speak more but I was hesitant. Her stare had been irritating me & I finally spoke- "I know people come here with big & insuperable problems, but even the simplest breakup is the reason to see a headshrinker right? What d'you think? I'm a psycho?

"No! I'm the psycho. Moreover the psychotherapist." she asserted in the same calmness as before. I apologized but she never minded. Dr. Surekha Daruwala, yet another lady with a synonyms surname like Banchoddas, is now my guide. I've hardly met people with such surnames & frankly speaking, she's the second!

"You wanna talk or stare at your shoes? she asked. "I charge 400rs per hour, it's okay for me if you choose either way" she stated, crossing her arms. I've already wasted minutes without getting anywhere. I wondered if she'd charge for the time I wasted.

"Okay.. so Dr...." I tried opening up & she disrupted- "You can call me Surekha" & I went like- "Okay, so Surekha.. I don't know if my problem is this serious that I need you. I don't know why I'm here" I asked, confusingly.

"See, Dr. Sudha has given me a brief of you- you're confused about your priorities, have a disturbed sleep cycle, experience pangs of euphoria & misery consecutively... d'you think its normal?" she looked at me with questions in her mind. "You're an exceptionally talented fashion designer & are even getting famous & successful. Your emotions might dominate your talent & work if you will not speak up" she forced.

I started "Ahh! First of all, I'm sleep deprived cause I've my marriage on cards. Have been busy in the preps since months & secondly, I keep my work & private life separately. Its nothing more than a series of mind games, which I'm unable to get through." I became silent again thereon but now in a mood to open up.

"Oh yeah, wedding! Btw congratulations!" she said smilingly. It's the first time she had smiled in the whole conversation. I thanked her smilingly. She continued- "You're getting married to your high-school sweetheart, what more d'you need? Uk this is the dream of so many people, I get hundreds of patients who get depressed after families don't allow them for this. I don't know what exactly happened, I want to hear from you & I know it might be difficult, but why aren't you just forgetting this & move on? Its 2022! Why is it affecting you till this day?"

"Good question!" I chuckled. Indeed the first time for me either to smile through the whole chat. "You know there are some people who leave such an impact on your life that they're unable to forget. And you think I didn't tried? I did, but failed. He's this hard to forget." I said while smiling in a reverie. "But I don't know why did this happened to me" I sadly uttered, shedding a tear. These pangs are real!

"You okay?" she enquired while passing a tissue & I nodded. "I don't know the exact thing but I know it involves you, Banchoddas & Bhuvan & I want it all from you" said she, expecting me to continue.

"Okay! Kab tak bhaagti rahungi? I'll begin from the very beginning, the day I met both of them for the first time" I declared & the spark on Surekha's eyes after this can't be described. I took out the two journals I brought so as to demonstrate everything better. She cleared the table for me & I placed the embellished aesthetic books there, at which she had been staring eagerly and I began to talk to get the worth of my money. I chose to recollect Banchoddas's chapter first....

That's it for now guys!!!
hope you all like it ❤🤙
Chapter 1 will be out next week!!
Stay tuned!
~KIA🙏