Warning: fluff, some omo, little/littlespace, depression, cutting, suicidal actions
The show had to be stopped because of the huge fight and the safety of the crowd, but luckily me and Lia didn't have to go home. We had a front row seat to the backstage room with Billie eilish!
I could hardly contain myself as Billie turned the knob of the door and revealed a stunning room with food and drinks in a mini fridge, a comfy couch, LED lights, and stage equipment in the back. Honestly, I could live here.
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"Make yourself at home!" She said, gesturing to the couch and the mini fridge. Lia sat down politely on the sofa, while I ran like sonic to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water, and dashed to the restroom, almost making billie fall.
"Why is she in such an hurry?" Lia shrugged.
I signed like I had been holding back the breathe for ages. I know the medics told me to get prescriptioned painkillers and to get some therapy, but me and my parents only gave me advice I would listen to, no one else. I took out my painkillers and chugged them down with some water, then splashed my face with the water. It hurt so much that I had to bite my lip down at full force just so I wouldn't scream like my body wanted me too.
"Ah, fuck..." I realized my lips were bleeding. I started to wash my mouth out with the water, but it stinged real hard making me cry. My tears hit the floor and the sink, and flooded my face and neck. This was the first time I had shedded tears in months. I couldn't believe I had just failed my parents like that. They would be so mad at me and beat me till I had scars all over if they had saw.
I felt so disappointed in myself, so I had no other option but to punish me. I always had a small pocket knife with me just incase I had failed my parents in some way that resulted in a punishment.
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I took it out and took my pants slightly off. I made a deep cuts from top to bottom, and with everyone I told myself, "You are a failure to your parents! You must do better!" I did the last cut, and then bandaged them up. I pulled my pants back up and put the knife away. And before I exited the bathroom, I took some more painkillers for the cuts on my leg.
