Perfect Student

Chapter 19

(Flashback- triggering)

Bryce and James were home from school and ran immediately to the backyard, dropping their things in the doorway to the kitchen. I jumped down the stairs with an excited squeal, ready to beg them to play with me. They mostly said no, but some days they needed someone to be the monkey in the middle, and I would occasionally get the ball away and get to be on the outside. 

I jumped over the backpacks and sprinted to the glass door, reaching up to grab the handle when I heard him walk in. 

I turned around and saw my Dad exit his office and take slow steps towards the backpacks on the floor. Bryce's bag hadn't been fully zipped, meaning a folder was half out on the floor and colored pencils were scattered on the ground around it. I waited for him to say something, but all he did was stare. 

"You okay, Daddy?" I asked him, voice shy. I lowered my hand from the doorknob and tucked it behind my body, where it could clasp my other hand.

"Do you think I'm okay?" he asked with a laugh. It wasn't the laugh he gave when he watched his favorite movie with his friends. It was the laugh he made when it was just him and me, and I did something wrong. The laugh scraped through the air, reaching my ears like alarm bells. 

"No?" I asked. He smirked up at me. 

"Look at this mess," he said, swinging his foot out wildly and sending Bryce's backpack flying into the wall. It scratched against it, leaving a small grey mark in the tan paint. He looked at it once and then faced me with a sharp turn, making me skittish. I ran forward and slid down onto my knees to stuff the fallen supplies back into his bag and make everything okay again.

Once it was neat, I grabbed Bryce and James' bags and placed them by the front door gently. I walked back over to my dad and smiled, before facing the floor.

"Do you think that makes it okay?" he asked. I shook my head no. "Do you think it's okay that you jumped over that mess without bothering to clean it up? Do you think it's okay to leave our house a wreck for Bryce's friend to gawk at? What if he goes home and tells his parents that the Johnson's are freaks?" he asked, voice getting louder with each word. By the end of his speech his voice was bellowing, reaching the upstairs and my small ears equally loudly. 

"I'm sorry," I said, knowing that it wasn't enough. His arm shot out wildly and slammed into my stomach, throwing me to the floor. I squeezed my face in tightly to keep from crying and waited for his foot to come, or his fist again, but instead I heard his footsteps strut purposefully back into his office. 

The backdoor opened quietly, and James walked in with an empty cup. He slammed it on the counter and ran to me as he spotted me curled up on the floor.

"Addy! Are you okay?" he asked, as pain swelled through my stomach. Sharp jabs were coming internally as if I was being hit again and again. I couldn't speak because I didn't have any air in my tummy, so I just waited, clenching my teeth to keep from crying. Tears spilled against my will and my lower lip quivered as the pain didn't stop. James stopped trying to talk to me and moved away, making my frown deepen. Was he just going to leave?

Suddenly I felt a pair of arms stretch under my back and knees and then I was weightless, lifted from the floor to the couch with ease. James set me on his lap and rocked me slowly, tucking me into his body. I was afraid I was crushing him, so I tried to lift my body, but he tugged it down, unconcerned. When my tears started to lessen and then subside, he spoke.

"I saw your Dad walking back to his office. Did he dothis Addy? Did he hurt you?" James asked, pulling my head back from his chestso he could look into my eyes. I shook my head no while my heart screamed "yes,yes, yes".