I'm a Lost Cause

Chapter 2

TW: Physical Violence - Drug Use - Rape - Death.

It was about a week later and we had cracked our victim's security system and all her devices. I sat staring at the computer behind Bucky when the two men walked in, faces not even covered. They wanted us to find out who this was. Then it clicked and I turned around grabbing the side of the desk, puking into a metal desk trash can.

Everyone looks over at me and Bucky hands me a Kleenex and says, "you good?"

"Yeah," I nod and quickly step away, hurrying towards the bathroom. I had begun to hyperventilate. I had suppressed so many memories from the darkness of working in Narcotics and this, this busted it wide open. My therapy had done good at pushing all of the memories of a year ago to the back of my mind in a deep box, locked away.

Before I can slam the door and lock it, I see a foot and an arm stop me. I couldn't stop myself any further from crumbling. I collapsed onto my knees and my vision went distorted. I felt arms around me, "talk to me, talk to me Ava. What is it?"

"That was my old apartment," I say quickly through gasps. "The one when I was undercover."

He cups my face, "no, Ava. No it wasn't." I shook my head and looked at him, "no Buck, it was. I lived there and you had no clue. You thought I was living in another apartment." He looks at me confused; I stutter out quickly through heavy breathing, "it was part of my undercover. I thought you knew by now. I just have blocked out so much from those months to move on and now..."

He shakes my head, "do you know who those men were?"

"Jack Rollins," I say through gasps. "Brock's number one ally and right hand man."

"The other one?" He asks cuping my cheek with his hands, stroking my cheek with his thumb, coaching me to tell him. I nod, "John Walker."

He kisses my forehead, "okay. This helps. I know it doesn't help you."

I nod and he pulls me into his arms. We sit like this for a moment while I calm down. When we stand he takes my hands, "you good?"

I nod and smile, "yeah, let's go get our warrants for their arrests."

He smiles, "that's my girl."

I nod and he leads us out of the bathroom. I sit down at my desk and he gets to work. I take my water and drink a few large sips. I pull my hair back up into a clip, needing to cool off still from my panic attack.

At the end of the day, we went our separate ways. Waiting for information on where the two goons were that killed our victim. I walked into my apartment and instantly felt paranoid. I tap on my cell phone before walking in, 'I forgot my work cell at work, make sure I don't miss anything.' I hit send to Bucky and wait. He knew I would never leave either phone at work. I carried them everywhere like a safety blanket. I turn on the recorder app and walk into my apartment and set my work bag on the floor, phone laying right on top.

I walk further acting like nothing is different, but keeping myself vigilant. Something wasn't right. I hear movement and look up, there he is Brock Rumlow. The man I had put away a year ago. The one that caused me to spiral a year ago. I gulp, "how are you here?"

He chuckles and steps closer coming out of the dark hallway, "heard my men killed the wrong woman while I was trying to rot away in jail because of you." I reach behind me and he shakes his head, "now, now. Don't you dare." He walks towards me, grabbing the gun from my holster and setting it on the counter. He smirks, "how is my pretty thing? I miss that blonde, but the red suits you."

"Fuck you," I say darkly and look at him. "What do you want?"

"You to die," he says chuckling. "I thought it was obvious when I killed the woman in your old apartment. Man, it's crazy how similar you too look. It's no wonder my men were fooled into killing an innocent woman."