Sapienophobia

Chapter 1

My earliest memory is breaking my ankle, running away from some humans who were pelting rocks at me. I went into their district against Father's wishes to observe. Just to sightsee. I had grown bored of Root flipping through books and had wandered from him. The gates were open at that time of day for travelers and the working class, so no one noticed me slip through the horde. I had followed the back rowhouses as far down as they would go then crossed over alleys to follow some more. But I got lost, as I'm sure my father knew I would. Imagine that, a 5-year-old child lost in an area filled with people who didn't look like him.

Other than its inhabitants, this human housing province was nearly identical to ours, save for the sturdier foundations.

I doubt they had to worry about the rains weathering their wood roofings.

I knew it was wrong to talk to strangers, but I needed to get home before Father.

I'm sure Root's looking for me.

So I went to a woman, I didn't understand the look on her face at the time, but now I know that it was one of disgust. As if just looking at me made the food on her stomach go sour.

Father often scolded me for not speaking with confidence so I made sure to plant my feet and speak loudly so that my voice would carry.

"U-um! Do you know whe-"

The first rock hit me square in the temple; it was chipped and partly round so I, like most preschoolers, squatted to admire it. It was a good rock, light for water-skipping and solid for slingshotting. It wasn't brittle so it could be shaped to suit the user's fancy with another rock. It also had a bit of a shine, like it had been polished. I decided on pocketing it to show to Root later. I only became aware that it was thrown at me rather than spontaneously conjured in my vicinity when the second rock hit. This one hurt, causing me to stumble and land on my ass. I looked to where the pebble came from to see the small mob that had amassed.

"Get out of our district!"

"You damned Anide!"

"Demon race!"

I wasn't the type of child who deliberately disobeyed my elders. I started off in the direction I believed I came from with the hateful congregation chucking trash at my back. I could outrun the adults, no problem, but the other children were fast and their magic strong. They aimed for my feet as I reached a bridge. I tripped and rolled down into the ravine, the gravel showed no mercy as it scraped and bruised my little legs. My foot twisted away from my ankle. I can remember bawling as I flailed my arms trying to keep afloat.

They may be bullies but no one's this mean, I told myself as my head surfaced to peer at my pursuers.

They paused.

They were staring.

My vision was blurred from either my tears or the ravine water so maybe I didn't see it correctly.

What's that look in their eyes? Fear? Hatred?
They won't help me. They'll let me drown. Why? What have I done to them for them to hate me so much?

I blacked out for a short while after the current pulled me under. I can remember being resuscitated by an old man. When I came to, Father and Root were by my side.

They're angry. I'll be scolded for going somewhere I shouldn't have. Root will be mad at me for leaving him at the library.

I didn't have time to apologize as I emptied the water trapped in my stomach. This is followed by my aching sobs.

"Daddy, it hurts! It hurts!" I wailed.

The stinging of my scrapes in conjunction with the throbbing of my fractured ankle would've done a number on an adult, much more a child.

"Father, if he is to be punished, spare him the rod for later," Root butted in.

Always the scholar. Look at how proper he speaks. Like he's human.

It irked me that even amidst my suffering he still found a way to play the perfect child. I didn't feel so sorry about ditching him then.

Father's eyes were glazed over. He cradled me before pulling one arm out to bring Root's head into his neck. His tears wetted our scalps.

This, though, I felt sorry about.

"Thank goodness," he murmured repeatedly.

He's warm.

Or maybe the ravine left me freezing.

Father released us and unclasped his work bag. My whines must've been pressuring him because his movements quickened with each groan. A dash of herbs here and a dip in strange liquids there, all blended flawlessly in a cast iron mortar fashioned a fast-acting remedy for my wounds. Father's work never ceased to amaze me. In a world full of magic, he found solace in practicing the traditional ways of healing. No need for humans and their conjurings if Father could heal someone with his concoctions alone. Seeing him work so hard for me made guilt tug at my heart. The lightening of my sniffles into ragged breaths marked the success of the medicine. Father carried me home, holding Root's hand all the way.

As always, Father designated him my keeper when he set off to work. I yearned for his attention in the days following, clinging to his collar as he pried my fingers off.

"Shin..." he reasons, "I need to work. You understand, don't you?"

I didn't understand. He was a doctor and my father, he could be both if he focused only on me.

"Don't leave me, Father," I mumbled, unable to muster the courage to say boldly that I wanted him near.

"The worst has passed, Shin. Father needs to work. What about the children who are hurting more than you? Should I leave them to stay here?"

Yes.

My shame didn't outweigh my selfishness when it came to Father; regardless of how I felt, I wouldn't ask for less from him, I wouldn't lighten my load upon him because that meant he could've focused his surplus attentions elsewhere.

"Root will make sure you're well-fed and comfy while I'm gone. Take a nap, I'll be back before you know it." He placed a loving hand on my cheek, stroking my upper eye ledge.

No, he won't.

A kiss on the forehead paired with some caregiving advice for Root in his ear, and he was out the door. I rolled over and feigned slumber before Root could approach me with his books to read to me.

The village called it a miracle I survived. Apparently, the current I was swept up in flowed down into the outskirts of our district; as explained to me when I was older, adjacent districts had connected sewage and water lines.

Safe to say I learned my lesson. I didn't so much as graze the borders of human encampments.

Thus birthed my inconsolable fear of humans.