𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜

I'd Prefer Not to Shop Until My Death, Thank You Very Much

The princess gestured toward the cosmetics counter. "Shall we start with the potions?"

"Cool," Jason said.

"Guys," Piper interrupted, "we're here to get the storm spirits and Coach Hedge. If this—princess—is really our friend—"

"Oh, I'm better than a friend, my dear," Her Highness said. "I'm a saleswoman." Her diamonds sparkled, and her eyes glittered like a snake's—cold and dark. "Don't worry. We'll work our way down to the first floor, eh?"

Leo nodded eagerly. "Sure, yeah! That sounds okay. Right, Piper?"

Piper stared daggers at him, then looked at me as if to say: No, it is not okay! I nodded in agreement.

"Of course it's okay." Her Highness put her hands on Leo's and Jason's shoulders and steered them toward the cosmetics. "Come along, boys."

Piper and I didn't have much choice except to follow. I wasn't thrilled to be in a department store—especially when it's one that's run by a crazy princess who glowed in the dark.

"And here," the princess said, "is the finest assortment of magical mixtures anywhere."

The counter was crammed with bubbling beakers and smoking vials on tripods. Lining the display shelves were crystal flasks—some shaped like swans or honey bear dispensers. The liquids inside were every color, from glowing white to polka-dotted. And the smells—ugh! Some were pleasant, like fresh-baked cookies or roses, but they were mixed with the scents of burning tires, skunk spray, and gym lockers.

The princess pointed to a blood red vial—a simple test tube with a cork stopper. "This one will heal any disease."

"Even cancer?" Leo asked. "Leprosy? Hangnails?"

"Any disease, sweet boy. And this vial"—she pointed to a swan-shaped container with blue liquid inside—"will kill you very painfully."

"Awesome," Jason said. His voice sounded dazed and sleepy.

"Not really," I muttered.

"Jason," Piper said. "We've got a job to do. Remember?"

"Job to do," Jason muttered. "Sure. But shopping first, okay?"

The princess beamed at him. "Then we have potions for resisting fire—"

"Got that covered," Leo said.

"Indeed?" The princess studied Leo's face more closely. "You don't appear to be wearing my trademark sunscreen ...but no matter. We also have potions that cause blindness, insanity, sleep, or—"

"Wait." Piper was still staring at the red vial. "Could that potion cure lost memory?"

The princess narrowed her eyes. "Possibly. Yes. Quite possibly. Why, my dear? Have you forgotten something important?"

I saw what Piper was thinking, she wanted the vial to cure Jason's lost memory.I gave Piper a look that said: Are you sure

Piper nodded, then turned back towards the Princess. "How much?" she asked.

The princess got a faraway look in her eyes. "Well, now ... The price is always tricky. I love helping people. Honestly, I do. And I always keep my bargains, but sometimes people try to cheat me." Her gaze drifted to Jason. "Once, for instance, I met a handsome young man who wanted a treasure from my father's kingdom. We made a bargain, and I promised to help him steal it."

"From your own dad?" Jason still looked half in a trance, but the idea seemed to bother him.

"Oh, don't worry," the princess said. "I demanded a high price. The young man had to take me away with him. He was quite good-looking, dashing, strong ..." She looked at Piper. "I'm sure, my dear, you understand how one might be attracted to such a hero, and want to help him."