In Your Clutches

Part 39: "Kiss Me"

ASHER

A few days later...

I twirled the glass in my hand lightly, staring at the screen in front of me. The television had been switched on for the past twenty minutes and I was continuously staring at it, but I was zoned out elsewhere.

I picked up the remote and switched it off. Refilling my glass with more whiskey, I aimlessly wandered towards the balcony. My mind was spinning round and round and I felt I could use a therapist. It's funny, how I always felt Amelia would be the one who'd need a therapist, but now I was the one who needed therapy.

Amelia.

I sighed, rubbing my face with my free hand.

I tried avoiding noticing her. But how could I not? The girl got wonders hidden in her. Every time I felt that I had her figured out, she came at me with something unpredictable. Maybe that was what made her genuine, and maybe that was why she still had my interest, after all this time.

I didn't regret, what happened after Lucca's party, because I knew that that was what I'd wanted to do. And I knew, Amelia felt the same for some reason. It was a connection, that I could feel, without having to talk.

But at the same time, I never wanted to feel anything more for Amelia other than hatred. Now, I wasn't sure about my newly found feelings towards her. Was it lust? Love? What was it? Whatever it was, I wanted more of her.

I took a long sip of my drink and kept it on the coffee table. I'd given her the contraceptive pills, the next day. I didn't know why, but I couldn't take the risk. She probably felt used, but isn't that what I'd wanted to do for so long? Then why did I feel an uneasiness engulf me after I reflected upon my actions?

I had also let her talk to her dad. In my opinion, that was more than enough. I knew I shouldn't have been an asshole about not letting her talk to him but this was Dante we were talking about. He could have made up a whole fucking plan with Amelia to escape Chigaco. And I couldn't take any risks.

But coming on the other side, if I had allowed Amelia to do what she wished, we wouldn't have done what we did out of anger. Then a strange dream crossed my mind.

The dream...

I'd had that dream for such long that I'd memorised it by heart. Only till the part where I witnessed the mother's death. Now, it had been extended.

Words seemed so feeble in moments like these. Life is so precious and death is such a thief. But in my dreams, I always found my way back to them.

Earlier, I used to look at it like some nightmare. But, this time, there was something more to it. It wasn't just a nightmare. It was a message. They were trying to tell me something.

Not necessarily what you see or what you've always been told is the truth... Sometimes, what you feel is the real truth. You need to feel and perceive. You need to trust your instincts. While feelings don't always determine the truth, sometimes, they do help us reach the truth.

Those words stuck with me till many days after I'd had the dream. Feelings? What feelings? The ones I'd always had, or the ones I'd recently developed?

I have had other dreams of mom and dad separately. But this one felt no less than a blessing. Deep down, I knew it meant something. And that too, something big. My parents were together and they were desperately trying to tell me something.