𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴~𝓱𝔂𝓾𝓷𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰

♡40♡

tw: bulimia

some months later everything seemed perfect still, seungmin loved hyunjin with his whole heart.

he loved how he felt with him, how he made him feel, for the first time in his life he felt like he mattered to someone.
hyunjin felt the same.

they both spent days together and when they weren't they were texting or calling the other.

for winter break everyone was sent home so the two departed to see their families.

hyunjin spoke nonstop about how wonderful seungmin was, how smart and charming he was, how caring and understanding he could be so to his mother he was approved.

on the other hand seungmin having to go home was terrible, he hated seeing his parents again, immediately getting yelled at for not answering calls or messages, how his grades were dropping, in trouble for just existing.

he sat in his old room, everything was still plain and colorless like how he felt for so long till hyunjin came in his life.

getting to see his sister wasn't so bad, they didn't speak to eachother, just quietly sat next to eachother avoiding their parents.

coming back seungmin felt a tremendous releaf, besides the fact he was threatened if he didn't start doing better, it made him feel quilty for spending so much time for hyunjin, he loved it. but he knew he'd have to talk to him anout how important school was for him aswell.
he decided to after their group date to go to a roller park, the day was full of smiles and laughter.

"hey pup! wanna come again one day just us? maybe this week ya?!"
hyujins bright smile just made seungmin feel worse.

"yeah, i mean- i dont know i have to see... "

"see? why?"

"well i gotta catch up one some school work... "

" what? school?! its still the weekend and youre thinking about that now!? " jisung clung to seungmins back
"plus youre like a super genius"

"i guess... " seungmin looked to the floor biting the inside of his cheek, hyunjin could feel something was wrong

"you know its getting pretty late" he grabbed seungmin from jisung grip and held him closes, just being near hyunjin seungmin felt better.

"yea youre right, okay who's going in my car again?" minho spoke

"us!" felix grabbed changbin and dragged him over to where minho stood and they walked off.

"alright lovebirds lets go"
chan joked.

the car ride was unamuzing to seungmin so he spent it staring at the moon, he always admired its beauty, how it seemed like it was following them home, the small noticeable details were intertaining but seungmin was pulled from his thought so sudden weight on his shoulder.

he turned and saw hyunjin asleep, snuggled to his arm.
he starred admiring taking in small details he'd admire day after day, still hyunjin seemed unreal, he was beautiful.

immediately as they arrived home the both fell asleep in seungmins bed, not bothering to change.

the next morning seungmin woke to see his love soundly sleeping on his chest, his soft breathes, his slight moving was so cute to him.

he started rubbing his back to slowly wake the blonde, "bun wake up my love... " seungmin spoke softly

"mMmmm... " hyunjin refused.

seungmin came up with the idea to talk at breakfast at their favorite spot.

they order the same as always buts seungmin couldn't motivate himself to eat, he felt a pit of fear in his stomach, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥? 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘪 𝘥𝘰! 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘪 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴, 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧-

"hey min... "

"y-yea... "

"i know somethings up did something happen with your parents?" hyunjin stuffed his mouth with the rest of his waffle.

" w-what?? no! what? "

hyunjin gave a look before seungmin sighed.

"yes. sorry... "
he looked at his plate still full and picked up a fork, playing with his food to avoid eye contact while he spoke

"i dont really...know how to say it. "

"thats okay pup take youre time"

"... well i-i just- i just n-need... "
seungmin felt his throat closing and his hands sweat, his thoughts overwhelming he felt his heart beating out his chest but was pulled back to hyunjin when he softly held his hand

"seungmin its okay, dont think about it, you dont have to tell me if you dont want to... but im always here when you need me. "
his soft smile, and voice reminded seungmin that he was just hyunjin, his word.

"school... "
"school? "
"... more focus... "
"thats all? of course my dear. "

seungmin met his eyes and knew he understood what he meant, it filled his heart seeing how well he knew him.

he suddenly had the apatite to eat still blushing

"hey ima go to the bathroom really fast thats okay love? "

"mHm" seungmin nodded cheeks full of pancake.
hyunjin smiled and stood, gave seungmin a kidd on his filled cheeks and walked to the bathroom, he opened everystall making sure he was alone and walked into a middle stall, he could feel his thoughts screaming at him, calling him stupid, fat, a failure, a disappointment for eating, how he didn't deserve to, how he couldn't.

he kneed infront of the toilet and stuck his finger down his throat gagging, tears falling down his cheeks, his vision blurring.

he starred at himself in the mirror for what felt like hours, he examined himself, he hated his image, he didn't understand how everyone adored it.

seungmin startes flooding his mind and he hurried out and met seungmin who was now done eating.

"everything okay? "
he spoke

"yes my love... "