Violet Dreams

Chapter 21

Arabella appeared in Windhaven, Azriel let go of her wrist as she surveyed the camp and the hut they stood in front of. It was cold, like usual, the camp was buzzing with life in the afternoon air. Laughing could be heard in the distance and a group of females walked by discussing their training. The hut in front of Arabella had a door that barely clung to its hinges, the roof had a few holes that'd been roughly patched up, and the glass windows were held together with tape.

"It needs a few renovations", Azriel supplied in answer of her obvious curiosity.

"A few renovations" was being a bit generous. It was clear that this hut was hundreds of years old, perhaps it even housed Rhysand himself many centuries ago.

"You have an hour", Azriel said curtly, "Rhys thinks I'm checking in on Nyx, so make things snappy".

Arabella furrowed her brows, "Azriel, what am I doing here?"

Azriel tilted his head to the side, the only sign of his own confusion. Perhaps he had misunderstood Arabella's feelings towards Nyx? No, that's impossible, Azriel was smarter than that.

"Do you not want to see Nyx?" He questioned.

Arabella shrugged, going red in the face, "I-I mean sure, but why would he want to see me?"

Ah, Azriel thought to himself, it was not a misunderstanding on his part but rather Arabella's own blindness to Nyx's obvious crush. He was about to correct her on her mistake but it seemed as though Nyx had caught scent of their arrival.

"Bella?" Nyx said bursting through the front door.

Just like a lovesick puppy, Nyx rushed forward and enveloped Arabella in the tightest hug Azriel had ever seen.
Azriel took that as his cue to leave.

"Nyx?" Arabella was so confused but hugged Nyx back anyway, "Nyx you're going to suffocate me".

Nyx released her, smiling so broadly he seemed to glow. Arabella felt strange and not in a good way.

"Nyx? Why did you want me here?" She asked.

Nyx blinked and his glow had evaporated, "what do you mean?"

Arabella suddenly felt silly, maybe she had misheard, maybe she was about to make a fool of herself when really nothing should've changed between the two.

"Nyx, I thought you had a mate".

He paled, suddenly feeling nauseous.

"You should come inside", he said simply.

Politely he opened the door, allowing Arabella to survey the house as she walked into the living room. The couch was old, bits of foam were falling out the sides, Arabella sat on it nonetheless. Nyx remained standing as he resisted the urge to pace.

"How did you find out?" Was the first question that left his mouth.

Arabella shrugged, avoiding eye-contact, "when you shouted it in the cafeteria. I think everyone heard you".

Nyx sighed, running a hand through his hair. How was he meant to tell Arabella the truth? Should he just say it? Or give some meaningful speech?

"I thought you wouldn't want me around anymore if you had a mate, they mightn't like me".

She said it so quietly, so fragilely. Nyx wanted to scoff, as if there was a world he'd live in where Arabella wasn't around.

"Don't be silly, Bella, I'd always want you around, no matter how many times you threaten to kick me in the balls".

Arabella laughed at that, "you can be infuriating".

Nyx took a deep breath. What if she rejected him? What if she didn't want to deal with the drama that would come from their match? What if her threats rang true? What if she never actually liked him and only wanted him for sex?

"Belle, I'll always want you around because it's you that I want to love. You're my mate, Arabella, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I was worried you'd reject me".

Arabella paused as if the world around her had frozen in time. She stared at Nyx, mouth agape, eyes wide. Nyx mentally winced at her reaction, maybe he should've made a grand speech.

"Me?"

Nyx was confused, she was speaking in that fragile voice again, the quiet one that made her seem small.

"You want to love me?" She whispered.

Nyx frowned, "is there anyone else I'd chose?"

Arabella still didn't look convinced, she was cracking her knuckles in anxiety and she keep looking at the ground.

"Arabella, can't you see it's always been you", Nyx said crouching in front of her, brushing a thumb along her knuckles, "I want to love you. I could love you, I think I'd fall in love rather fast, if you'd let me".

Arabella gulped, clearly overwhelmed by the situation. She never expected anything serious to come out of her and Nyx's escapades, but mates? She never even thought, not for a moment, that it was possible.

"Nyx.." she mumbled, "what about my court? What about yours? Is it even possible?"

Arabella liked Nyx. However, she would be there for her people first, if that meant leaving her own happiness behind then she'd do it.

"We can figure it out", Nyx said calmly, "we have centuries to go until we have to think about it".

"Nyx, I don't want to fall in love with you if I can't spend the rest of my life with you".

A logical concern. She couldn't blindly fall in love if they were only ever destined to be separated. It would be foolish, and both her and her court would suffer for her impulsiveness.

Nyx took a deep breath, real concern and fear shone in his eyes, "is it selfish of me to say that I don't want to lose you?"

Yes, it was selfish. The fate of both their courts currently waited on this decision. But Arabella too wanted to be selfish, to have the romantic love she was never offered.

"I don't know. I want to be selfish too", she replied honestly.

Nyx squeezed her hands before letting go and stepping back. The silence was palpable.

"You don't have to decide today", he said calmly, "it's a big decision to make".

Arabella nodded. Something that would affect her life so greatly, could not be made on a whim.

"I'll think about our options", she said standing, "I'll let you know when I've made my decision".

Nyx huffed a laugh, "you make it sound like a business meeting".

Arabella smiled sadly, "unfortunately, it is".