Violet Dreams

Chapter 30

Arabella was suffocating. Not only was her dress restrictive and uncomfortable, everyone was watching her, looking for some crack in her facade. She shouldn't of kissed Nyx, it had been risky and given him false hope only to shatter his heart in the very same breath. Arabella could feel how much she had hurt him. He had disappeared in the crowd long ago but Arabella could still feel the disappointment and heartbreak through the bond. She had made him sad. Another thing that was purely her fault.

"Arabella", said a voice as smooth as glass.

"Rhys", she replied relief filling her bones at his presence.

She'd began to rely on him. He had given her the truth when he didn't need to, had gone out of his way to make sure she was safe.

"I trust that you are okay", he said quietly, an ever pleasant smile on his face as people looked their way.

Arabella smiled, blinking back the tears she had shed before in Nyx's arms.

"I'm fine", she sighed.

Rhysand's lips thinned. He didn't believe her. Arabella understood where he was coming from, his mate had been subjected to her own form of repression from someone she trusted, Rhys still had to look him in the eyes at High Lord meetings.

"Are you sure?", he whispered, "you don't have to pretend for me, for any of us".

"I am okay. I won't lie to you, I couldn't even if I wanted to", she said jokingly.

He smiled, "I won't go into your mind. I'm afraid of what I'll see about my son", he said pretending to shiver.

Arabella barked a laugh, her first genuine one in weeks, "those thoughts are locked far away".

"Why?"

She blinked, momentarily stunned by his question.

"Because I cannot allow distractions with what I plan to do", she whispered, eyes scanning the crowd for Zachery.

"And what do you plan to do?" He asked calmly.

Arabella sighed, she had never said her plans out loud before, the best form of secrecy was to keep everything to yourself. But, Rhys could help.

"Tell me, Rhys. What is the best way to break someone's mind", she said calmly.

It was Rhysand's turn to look shocked.

"Breaking someone's mind can be very damaging to your own, Arabella, it is not as simple as you think".

"Teach me".

"I can't. I refuse".

Arabella resisted the urge to get angry at Rhys. He was all for an escape plan, but revenge was too far?

"Why?" She grumbled.

"You could hurt yourself and I will not allow my future daughter-in-law to do that", he whispered harshly.

"You are so confident I will choose him?" She hissed, not needing to mention who him was.

Rhys ignored her question, "find another way".

"I want to see him hurt" she said angrily, "I want to make him feel as helpless as I did".

Rhysand sighed, seeming to contemplate his choices. Arabella watched him carefully, she needed this, needed his help.

"Find another way", he said with finality before disappearing into the busy crowd.

Arabella's mouth was agape. He had refused her. She had thought if anyone could understand her it would be Rhys. But he had left her stranded.

Holding her head high Arabella made her way towards the bathroom, the only place she could truely be away from everyone. She glided through the ballroom, smiling politely at those she passed. She could tell some of the High Lords were suspicious but she knew they would believe her even less if she told them the truth. Pushing open the bathroom door, Arabella froze in her step. Bent over the sink, shoulders shaking was her father.

"Dad?"

Thesan jumped at the sound of her voice. He looked at her through the reflection of the mirror. Arabella frowned, his eyes were puffy, cheeks tear-stained.

"Arabella, you should be enjoying the party".

"It's hard to enjoy a party when everyone is watching you", she said casually leaning against the sink beside him.

She had no sadness for her parents. Perhaps an ounce of betrayal, but ultimately Arabella had to ignore the pain she felt, she had to push it aside.

"When I tell you I had no idea I-"

Arabella held up her hand to stop him.

"I know you did not orchestrate this, but as long as Torin sleeps in your bed, you are at fault too", she replied smoothly.

"That's not fair", he stated turning to her, "I love him"

Arabella scoffed, "do not speak to me about fair".

Thesan huffed. She had never seen him so truely broken, distraught and depressed. Was it bad that a small part of her enjoyed the sight?

"Love is about sacrifice", Arabella continued, "it is about doing what is best, sometimes that means letting them go".

"What do you know about love?" He spat uncharacteristically

"I love my court and my m-", Arabella swallowed her words, "I would do anything for this court, I once believed you'd do the same, I was wrong".

Arabella did allow him time to reply, breezing out of the bathroom and making a b-line to the guest wing. Was there nowhere in this house she could get a bit of piece and quiet?
She walked briskly down the hallway, a need for escape thrumming in her chest. Cauldron, the pressure was too much to bare. A whole court of people needed her help and they had no idea they were in danger. This was her duty and yet she couldn't help but want to be selfish, to take something for herself. She'd looked after everyone else her whole life, what if she just wanted to run away? What if she just wanted to make mistakes and be stupid? Why was she born into this life?!

"Bella?"

She froze in place. The bond thrummed in time with her heartbeat as he approached.

"Belle, are you okay? You look unhappy", Nyx almost reached out to her but seemed to think better.

"I-it's this stupid dress!", she stuttered, not being able to fully articulate the way she was feeling, "it's suffocating, everything is suffocating".

Nyx furrowed his brows, "how can I help? I hate seeing you like this".

Arabella breathed a deep breath. Cauldron save her.

"Take it off".

"Huh?" Nyx replied dumbly.

"Take my dress off, Nyx".

"Oh", he said but he remained unmoving.

Arabella turned to face him fully, simply raising a brow in frustration.

"Oh"

A/N: no it's not a fade to black, who do you think I am?? Give me some votes and I'll make it a whole chapter...yes I'm bribing I don't care.