I Survived An X Number Of Days In Camp Half-Blood

CHAPTER 10 - Tristan wears a purple unicorn underpants

Dear my wonderful readers:

Sorry about that last cliffhanger,

Well, no. Not really. Mwahahahahahaha!

But seriously, I love you guys.

Camp Half-Blood

10:44 am EST

June 18, 2022

The chicken king told me the rules of time-traveling: Number one, don't be seen by your past self, because you'll drive yourself crazy. Number two, try not to be seen by others or they will be suspicious. Number three, remember that whatever you change in the past will affect your future, so DON'T CHANGE TOO MUCH!

First, I told Poopleheim that we were going to travel back in time. He was beyond excited.

"Hey señor, where are we going? Ancient Rome or Ancient Egypt?" he asked excitedly.

"Don't get overexcited! We're just going back three weeks! What do you mean Ancient Rome or Ancient Egypt?" I replied while rolling my eyes.

"Aww, man! But I still want to see the pyramids! And the mummies! Oh, please, can't we go back to Ancient Rome to see the Colosseum and the poop Roman baths? Please? Pretty please?" he begged.

I realized that I needed a shield. Camp Half-Blood has a lot of shields, but I didn't like them. I wanted a shield named Julian. Why? Well, I felt a little bad that he had been turned to stone and he was missing all the action. I figured, if he went back in time with me and then he somehow recovered while we were in the past, then he would be soooo excited that he actually got to time travel!

Also, he would make a great shield because he is extremely hard-headed.

I returned to the hospital to collect Julian. The place was completely empty. I carried him to the time-travel machine. The chicken boss pulled a lever and pressed a few buttons. Suddenly, there was a BOOMLY-BANG-BANG-BANG, a purple flash of light exploded around the machine, and VROOOM, we were sucked in.

"Oh noooooo, I'm gonna die! My head's gonna explode!" yelled Poopleheim as he was sucked in next to me.

"You don't even have a head, bruv!"

We were suddenly spit out onto the grass. It was clearly the middle of the night. The bright, shiny moon glistened in the sky.

Freshness wafted to my nose from every spade of green grass around me. Owls and crickets sang through the night while the loud, snoring sounds of Tristan echoed in the forest.

I was at the edge of bursting into laughter because I suddenly had an idea. What was the point of going back in time if you didn't play some tricks on your friends?

A cabin rose before me. It was huge and familiar, the Hephaestus cabin. I had an idea.

I snuck into the cabin, and opened the underpants drawer. There was a pair of purple underpants right on top of the pile. Then, I opened another drawer, which was full of stickers. I collected a bunch of unicorn stickers and stuck them on the underpants. Finally, I stealthily went up to Tristan's bed, as carefully as possible, trying not to make a sound, I secured the underpants over Tristan's head, the elastic band snuggly wrapped around his forehead, with Hermes All-Purpose Superglue.

I ran out of the cabin with tears in my eyes and a little bit of pee in my pants from laughing so hard.

Suddenly, as I stepped out into the night, I noticed something strange.

I could hear strange hissing sounds, just like that time back in my future. I thought of a possibility: what if the Basilisk was planning revenge? I decided to see if this was possible. I found a shovel and shoveled for about two hours. Finally, I found a massive tunnel underground. It was going to the Hermes cabin from what I could tell. Right at that moment, I really needed a pee. I was standing on the outside, right by the large hole I had dug. I pulled down my pants and began to have a wee. I peed for five minutes, and it still wasn't enough. My pee began to flood the place, then soaked the ground until it went through the soil. I peed and peed until I heard someone underground slither to me.

"Zaaazaahh hazaaahh zaahaaazaaaaaaaa," hissed something huge near me.

Poopleheim translated, "Looks like you're right, señor. The basilisk is right underneath, and he's asking who in the world is so disgusting he peed on his head."

It looked to me like the Basilisk was tunneling underneath the cabins, trying to attack from the ground. But it seemed like he found my pee quite disgusting. Still, the Hermes cabin looked a little wobbly. I had to get the Basilisk out of there before he got to the other cabins too.

Well, if the Basilisk didn't like pee, he shouldn't have come to Camp Half-Blood. I quickly found the main tube that carried pee from the toilets to the sewer, and I ruptured it with Julian's head. Pee began to flood the underground tunnels, while Poopleheim flew circles around the Hermes cabin, warning the campers to get out before the place collapsed. The warning was a bit strange.

"OH NO! WHAT WILL I DO? NO! SOMEBODOY IS KILLING ME! MY UNDERPANTS ARE DRIPPING WITH POO! TWO TIGERS ARE EARING MY TOES! HELP ME! HELP ME QUICKLY! SOMEBODY! OH NO!" he screamed at the top of his voice, flying past every window of the Hermes cabin and waking up the campers inside.

The campers ran out of the cabin, still in their pajamas, towards the pavilion, looking for the voice of whoever needed help.

Meanwhile, the pee had soaked the ground underneath.

"Zaaahhh haahhhzz zahaazazahahahzaaa!!!" said a voice.

Poopleheim informed me "That snake is saying 'Whoever peed on my head, I will kill you! But for now, I have something more important to do. I need a shower! Because of you! I hate you!'"

The basilisk left, but the tunnels by the Hermes cabin were deep and soaked in pee. The cabin collapsed soon after, but at least none of the campers were hurt.

We had no idea things were just starting to get bad.