The Intimacy Of these Moments | Chaennie

Chapter 35

Jennie's pov

Lisa got her birthday gift from Rosie in her apartment while I get her phone on the dining table. She left and has not even contacted anyone here or Lisa. I couldn't able to speak to Aiden either since he has been working with Rosie's cousin.

Lisa is ready for her comeback, Jisoo has the most headache schedule and, I have only to prepare for a group album with them and other time, photoshoots though somehow I always encounter something related to Rosie.

Coming home didn't work because mom gifted me a car which is designed by Rosie. Everything about the car is relaxed, the controls are so greased like her talks, automatic mood of course, "Do you like it?" Mom asked while I drive through the mountain pass.

"It's nice..." I smiled nodding.

"You don't seem yourself? What happened? Are you okay?" she questioned, whenever someone ask me 'are you okay' made me want to cry. I invariably attempt to hold myself back but everyone seems so happy around me except me, the more I smile the more I want to break down.

"I'm fine, just preparing for the new album is tough"

"Don't worry, it's gonna be a big hit like others" she assured me patting my back. I look forward to driving faster so I can get out of here, being in the car made me remind of her more additional.

"I guess..." what's the point of anything? Nothing feels exemplary anymore. Since Rosé left sentiments are abounding from my heart in my songs, even the producer asked me if I was in a relationship.

"You're not okay, sweetie. What happened?" Mom placed her hand on mine and I swear I never feel so worthless, incisions themselves left that much I miss her each second. I cease the car on the roadside when mom made me look at her and the tears didn't prevent causing her to hug me. "Jennie, what happened? I knew you were hiding something but is this that significant?"

"I did something, mom" I gag, closing my eyes she strokes my back holding me tight.

"You can't do anything wrong? It can't be that significant"

"I love someone..." I utter, and she pulled away looking at me. "Really? That's it? Who is it? Do I know him?" she questioned, this is not the time for me to say it. She would be disappointed or god knows if she ever talks to me again or not but there are nothing matters now, Rosie is not here.

"Her, it's a girl, mom," I articulated, she was stunned skimming at me. It's been a while since she didn't say a word. "I-I love her, and I know I can't be with her but when you asked if I'm okay. I'm not, I'm dying every day in remorse for always pushing her away and now she is not here. She left" my slash dribbling no matter how much I wipe it away it didn't stop.

"It's okay, come here..." she hugged me and I cried harder, "Why you didn't tell me before? We could have talked to her together," she said soothing me. I choked on my sniff when she caressed my back calming me down.

"You're not disappointed in me, are you?"

"Loving is not a crime, dear. I will always be proud of you and stay by your side permanently," she conveyed causing me to clench onto her harder, Rosie used to say the same thing.

"She used to say the identical," I pulled away darting forward covering my eyes with the cuffs of my sleeves, hiding my face because of how pathetic I might be looking crying for her.

"For a reason..." mom petted my shoulder which made me look at her. "What?" I frowned. "If she used to say the same then she would come around, have faith in love"

"I do but how long? How many nights do I have to spend crying? I'm weary, it's been 2 months I haven't heard from her on any news or articles, she distances herself like I'm a day and she's a night who can't be together yet are incomplete without each other. What do I do? I can't work, nor I can love but feel misery, it only hurts waking up daily knowing I won't see her"