This story of mine is just an illusion. Have fun reading and thank you in advance. Don't forget to vote, thus it will be an inspiration for me to continue writing. This is like a letter of heartache.
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I met this guy unexpectedly. At first, it's just friendly regard. I don't know him until one of my friends introduced him to me. A man got my tongue. He's cute and attractive. I don't think he also likes me but then I started liking him. He asked for my number but I didn't give it but he insisted and maybe begs a little bit more, so I gave him not expecting more from him. He's my crush but that's only it and nothing more. Then afterward, he texted me and I replied, of course, I replied. Then soon enough we became friends. I sometimes suspected his manners and the way he texted me. I know he flirted with me, what else could I expect? But he doesn't know me at all. I refused, not that I don't like him but because it's not right, I'm so young compared to him. He's 25 years older than me. But he continues pursuing me, giving me the right perspectives of life, showing me how to live it with no boundaries and do what my heart says and what makes me happy. I told him it won't work, let's just be friends. He doesn't give up, he didn't give up. He continually flatters me with his alluring words.
A week has passed, I think it's kinda cute because I don't know why I feel a little romantic excitement in my heart. And so, because of his pursuance, I told him, "Yes, let's try, maybe your right." Maybe his right so we begin our relationship. Texting is our main communication at first for we didn't want others to know we were on. Not that we don't want them to know, we're both single and employed, but because people will speculate about us, specifically, our age gap. We just want a quiet life together. We're both happy and contented though not fully but we managed. We've seen each other sometimes, we flirted sometimes, and we kissed if there are times, privately. I thought these feelings of mine will never grow but it slowly happening. Every time we're together, it's like magic. He never ceased to amaze me; he's like a jester 'coz he made me laugh all the time. And so I feel the love from him. I thought only of the happiness we shared, but I was wrong. There are conflicts between us. We learned that we have so many different views and wants and because of it we always ended up fighting. I think we're not compatible enough and so it leads me to open up with him about breakups. Maybe I don't love him that much and maybe he doesn't love me that much either. Then he says sorry. He always said that and ate his pride just to accompany mine. So our love rekindled. Another chance was set, and I'm relieved. The truth is, I don't want to lose him. And the second truth is I'm falling in love with him. And so our relationship continues. Adjustments we're made to make it more effective. Then I started trusting him. I told him all about me. At first, I was afraid but his reassuring eyes tell me he can be trusted. I told him about my being an atheist. Then, he stays quiet. I don't know why. I think he already judged me secretly but he just stayed quiet then he suddenly hugged me so tight. I cried. I felt his love that time, I know he understands and he cared. Being with someone like me who doesn't believe in the existence of GOD is hard for him because he's a Christian, a devoted one. But, he accepted me. So again my love for him grows deeper than I imagined. We became sweeter to each other, cared for each other so much but quarrel is always at our door ready to strike any time. He was always jealous, he sometimes blurted his judgments to me as to how I acted or talked to another guy around me. It's like he didn't trust me, it's like he wanted to say I'm a flirtatious woman who doesn't respect myself. Then again we fought and I cried 'till morning light. My heart aches because of his words. I love him so much but he doesn't love me at all. So I broke up with him and by this time he never responded. I thought he doesn't care anymore and accepted my goodbyes.
Then again we blinded each other eyes, deaf each other ears and avoided each other but I can't and after all the dramas he said to me that he can't also and he said sorry. I just can't get mad at him for so long because I love him and so we're back on the road of love. Our relationship became stronger than ever. We dated a lot more than usual and every date is the best thing that ever happened to me. We're not in the same circle, we're not in the same stage but I don't care, it doesn't matter to me. I'm happy every time his near and that's enough for me. A month had passed and still, we were happy together. We can now manage each fight and we have learned to accept each other's flaws. We slept together many nights and it was the best. I don't want him to go whenever he's with me. He always treated me special and I felt overjoyed. I feel sad and carry my bad mood whenever he's not around. Maybe he tamed me and now my world revolves around him.
But in an instant, all was lost. He's gone, the man I loved the most is now gone. I tried to calm myself and think that it was going to be alright but I can't. Why? Why is it so unfair for both of us? I cried every day and every night looking at his picture in my hand, cursing his God. I know I was wrong by doing that, but I was hurt. I don't believe in the existence of HIM but the man I love always prayed to HIM. But, I think he doesn't care, he never cared for everyone's feelings that's why I don't believe in HIM. My body became weak for I can't even have a single spoon of my food. I can't forget about him, his smell still lingers in my room and so I can never move on. I always played our songs on the radio reminiscing our past together. Then again I fell asleep wishing that when I woke up, he was right there by my side smiling at me as he used to do. But as usual, I woke up with no one beside me. The man I always wanted to marry was dead. He was diagnosed with cancer, an illness that caused his body to deteriorate. He was on his deathbed for four months and now his life ended, and so is mine. I wanted to ask the God my man praises with all his life. Why, if HE is truly there up above, why of all people? He's a very good, a loving person, and a loyal man but why is it HE ended my partner's life so early? Yes, I questioned HIM about it.
Now how can I move on if my heart always speaks for his name? How can I continue my life if the reason for living is now gone? I cried begging HIM to take the pain in my heart away but I didn't get any answer. I watched his tomb as I ask these words, "Why do you leave me? Can I have you back my love, and be with me forever, again?" but I know this won't happen ever even if I will start to pray with his GOD a thousand prayers.
