"Nicky come on we're going to be late" Ashton's voice echoed up the hall as the tears continued to stream down my face as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
I was scared. Probably petrified. Touring wasn't my thing, it was Ashton's. He's the one who's travelled the world multiple times and I never could. I've never even wanted to. What if I got lost? What if I had too much time away from my home comforts? What if I missed my friends? What if I get worse not better? There were so many questions flying around that I couldn't even begin to think about the fact I'd have to walk down those stairs and get in a tour bus in the next couple of minutes.
It's not like I'd never met the other boys before, I grew up with them always at the house. Obviously I've always known ashton and I know there would never be any issues between us on the road. He has my back he is always there when I fall he always picks me back up. He's my older protective brother who takes his job title extremely seriously. Luke is the closest my my age out of the four of them so I've always felt as though I could confide in him easily or have him cheer me up with some stupid joke. Calum has always been a common ground for me and Ashton. If we fight he's the one that's always there helping to pick up the pieces, as Ashton's best friend I suppose he feels as though he has to as Ashton and I are one another's left arms, the second they fall off we don't know how to cope. And finally there was Michael. The one with the upbeat personality who I somehow seemed to know the least about. I knew he had his own demons and got through the other side but he was a closed book, I didn't really know anything more than the basic information I'd been told throughout the years.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door causing me to quickly wipe away the liquid from under my eyes as I said yes hinting for them to open the door. As the white door opened a messy haired blonde boy with a baseball cap on sheepishly opened the door.
"Hey Nicky Ashton said that we need to get going soon" he said as I nodded and fake smiled at him "have you been crying?" He asked as I shook my head "don't lie to me Irwin you've got the same puffy eyes as that night" he said as I felt my heart sink
"Don't mention that night" I snapped as his face dropped "I didn't mean to snap I just really don't want to talk about it please respect that"
"If you don't talk about it then you're never going to move on and continue to get better. You need to have someone who can help you" he said as I picked up my tote bag shoving my last bits and pieces in there
"I have Ashton" I replied as he shook his head
"He's not stupid Nicky, he knows you only tell him the nicer parts. You need someone who you can really open up to. You can't keep sugar coating things to people" he replied as I sighed and put the tote bag on my shoulder.
"Let's get going hey" I said as he shook his head as I ushered him out of my room before I followed him down the stairs towards the bus outside the house.
I quickly hugged Luke and Calum hello before apologising to both of them for holding everyone up a couple of minutes, not wanting to make this any more awkward than it may be. The token younger sister on the tour bus to get in the way of every single person in both the band and the crew. I'll stick out like a sore thumb. No one is going to want to hang out with me and everyone will always be busy. Im just going to get in the way. No one will have time for me. I can't get in the way because if I do someone will get hurt. I need to stay home. Suddenly I felt a gentle hand touch the bottom of my back causing me to jolt slightly before looking up and seeing Michael's face looking down on mine.
"You don't need to spiral. Now come on and get on that bus, I'll be right behind you" he smiled as I shook my head
"I can't" I whispered feeling my hands start to shake. "I can't Michael" I said as I felt his hand brush against my own
"You've got this come on Nicky it's okay" he said calmly as I nodded and slowly walked towards the bus, each step feeling like a mile in itself. I made my way up the small steps before seeing my home for the next couple of months. A sofas and a table as you entered, shortly followed by the kitchen before I was greeted by the doors to the small bunks
"This bus is going to stink by the time this tour is done if you four are living this close together" I joked
"Hey we weren't that bad" Luke shouted from the sofa
"We might not be that bad but you are Luke" Calum sassed back making me giggle as Luke sent a pillow his way
"This ones yours Nicky" Ashton said diverting my attention to him patting the top bunk to the right "I'm next to you and Michael will be below you" he said as I nodded and started to climb up before arms wrapped around my body.
"Hey get off me" I giggled instantly recognising the arms pulling me away from the beds as my brothers
"Not a chance you aren't spending this tour stuck in your bunk. Come hang out with us"
"I don't really have a choice you're literally carrying me to the rest of them" I said as he laughed
"Grab a notepad and pen, it's time for you to learn about our tour traditions"
YOU ARE READING
Despair m.c
Fanfiction"You just lay here all day and never try get up" "What else do you expect" • In which Nicky is clinically depressed and can't find a reason to be okay until Michael walks into her life and makes it his mission to keep Nicky alive.
