This is why I don't socialize {Eddie Munson X Reader}

P10) Overwhelmed

This is a reminder that this chapter with continue to go in depth with Suicide. I'd also like to remind you that the Suicide Hotlines are on P9.
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Y/N'S POV

My body sinks into the full tub and I immerse my head under the water. After a moment I sit up in the tub an cough a little. I look over a see mouthwash on the counter.  I get out of the tub, my clothes soaked and I grab the mouthwash and then climb back in the tub.

"If more than used for rinsing is
accidentally swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away," I read. I tip my head back and swallow mouthful after mouthful of mouthwash. It stings my head, like a deep headache. I can smell it deep in my nose.

EDDIE'S POV
Pulling up to Y/N's house, I pop my boom box on top of my car and throw in my cassette of "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel and turn up the volume all the way. (If you get this reference, I love you so much)

"Y/N!!!" I shout, "IM SORRY! I LOVE YOU!!"

Eventually the song ended and that was it. She's not coming. I'm not giving up, I'm not fucking giving up. I knock on the door and ring the doorbell.

The door is unlocked, the hell? Y/N is hella paranoid and always locks the door. I knock again, no answer. I ring the doorbell a few times. What if she's hurt? I open the door slowly and yell, "Y/N? It's me, Eddie! I'll go if you want me to but please hear me out I was wrong, I'm so sorry."

Nothing.

While I am shutting the door, I hear coughing.
"Y/N?" I announced.
The coughing continues and I rush in. I storm through the house and run into the bathroom where the coughing is coming from. I look down and see water and pills all over the floor. My eyes follow from the floor to the tub where she lays. "Doll..." I whimpered. "E-... Ed-" she tries to spit out. I walk over the pills and pick her up out of the tub as she begins to cough. I maneuver her head over the toilet. "Did you take all these?!" I cried. She nods as tears stream down her face. "Okay, I need you to throw up for me princess do you understand? I need you to throw up, you have to stay alive Y/N" I demanded. Holding her hair up, I stick my fingers down her throat and she gags, "I'm so sorry, I know it hurts, I'm sorry," I say breathily. She keeps gaging and crying, "Cmon Y/N, Come on!" I beg.
*blaaagh*
"ew," she says before passing out in my arms.

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"Y/N?"
"Y/N L/N, can you hear me?"
She nods her head slightly, he eyes still closed, the EMT says, "alright Ms. L/N, keep breathing."

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked. The EMT replies, "we won't know for sure, do you know what she took?" I pull out some pills from my pocket, "I don't know but these were on the floor," I say.

As we pull into the hospital the EMT leaves me in the empty waiting room. At this point it is around 6pm and I haven't eaten all day. I don't have any money on me, damn it. I sit in one of the waiting room chairs as my body shakes, my hands are cold and my stomach growls.

I pull out the folded piece of paper that I found on her counter. She was reaching for it while throwing up so I brought it with me. I hesitated before opening it but read,

"I wish you could've said it while I was alive.

I love you Eddie Munson.

Love, Y/N"

With that I find my body on the floor. My heart is shattered to unrecognizable pieces. I lay there as if my heart had just mutualized beyond recognition. I gasp for air and sob. I killed my Darling Princess, she took her life because of me.

Pulling my shit together, I push myself back up onto the waiting room chair. I hold my head in my hands when I hear, "Y/N L/N?" "Yes!" I call standing up. "Are you her relative?" The doctor asks. I shake my head and say, "No, she got emancipated when she turned 16. I'm just... I'm Eddie, a friend."

"Well Eddie, seems like y'all are more then friends," he laughs.

The fuck is this guys deal.

He mentions,
"I'm just saying, her first words were, "Eddie, tell Eddie I'm sorry, where's Eddie? I need Eddie.""

"SHES ALIVE?!" I shout.

He rubs the back of his neck and says, "Ah yeah, I forgot to say that first. My bad."

THE FUCK.