Collide with the Sky

Under the L.A skyline

You heard rain start to fall outside. You opened your window so the sweet moist air could come in.

Calm down, you repeated to yourself for the millionth time.

You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Disgusting.

Lily and Greg both thought you were stick thin. Even if the doctors said you were under weight, you still saw yourself as that awkward chubby girl. You wanted to break the mirror.

Calm down.

You paced your room back and forth. Trying to steady your breathing, you searched your messy floor for your Iphone. You fumbled but managed to plug it in to the tiny speakers you had. Shadow Moses began to play so you maxed out the volume. It was loud enough to feel wrapped in the music. But not loud enough to drown out the sound of rain. You crawled onto your bed and looked out the window. Clouds in the distance looked dark. You could faintly hear the roll of thunder far off. Your mind began to wander.

I wonder if Tony is thinking about me.

That thought kept coming up. Soon followed by other thoughts.

You're just some girl. Get over yourself, you thought as you opened your laptop. It was opened to your blog, you noticed that you got multiple messages. Your heart picked up, you never got messages. You happiness was short lived, you soon realized they were anonymous hate messages.

'don't steal Tony you whore.'

'he probably feels sorry for you since you're so desperate'

'He doesn't like you. It's obviously a joke get over yourself.'

You quickly closed the laptop.

How the hell did people find out? You weren't even WITH Tony technically and people were already sending 'hate'. You slowly opened the laptop and quickly opened a new tab so you wouldn't read the rest of the messages. You logged onto twitter; the only place where you thought people would find out about your outing with Tony. You hands were shaky as you typed, you were afraid of what you'd find. You braced yourself for the worse.

You had multiple notifications. Too many.

You clicked a tweet from Vic that had a picture. Your heart stopped. You wanted to throw the laptop out the window. On the screen was a picture, or the picture of you and Tony kissing at Disney land. "Love birds at Disney" . You and Tony were tagged in it so you were certain it was you guys. You forced yourself to scroll down to the responses. You soon regretted that decision.

You slammed the laptop shut. You only read one.

'Who's that fat girl and why is she with my Tony?'

You stared at the closed laptop on your bed. Don't even go near it, you told yourself as you grabbed a pair of sweatpants and your phone . You changed and walked downstairs to the kitchen. It was only 7:45. Where has the time gone? You asked yourself. You opened the fridge to find many bottles of beer. You grabbed two and put them on the coffee table in the living room.

"I'm gonna need more then that" you murmured to yourself as you walked back into the kitchen and looked for a bottle of whiskey. You brought it back to the coffee table and opened one of the beers.

At least you're not cutting, you thought. You looked down at your wrists, thin white lines created spiderweb like patterns across your upper wrist. The memory of how it all started still hung in your memory like a fog. You turned on the tv, hoping it would take you remind off the past.

The rain outside turned into a thunderstorm. The claps of thunder made the old house shake. Minutes went by like hours. Your mind kept going back to the tweet. Why would Vic do that? Even if it was meant as some joke, he's the type of person who cares about the outcome of their actions. You ran your hand through your tangled pink hair.