My Perfect Stranger

Chapter 10

CLARA

Joshua had brought me to the most wonderful place I could think of. Not only because it was beautiful but also because it reminded me of my father. His favorite flower, the flower he always used to bring me whenever I was upset or happy. The strong scent of the tulip field made me feel like he was right there with me. I missed him so much.

"Are you alright?" Joshua asked me.

"Yes. This place is wonderful." I replied and wiped off a tear from my eyes.

"This place has meaning to me." Joshua paused and spoke again, "I love tulips because my father used to love them. He always used to bring home tulips whenever I was sad."

I was shocked after hearing that. Strange that my dad wasn't the only one with same idea. And I was also very glad because tulips do really should be the significance of cheerfulness. I held Joshua's hand and started walking forward, into the field and towards the setting sun. We reached the center of the field and I sat down on the ground and so did he beside me.

"Even my father used to bring me tulips whenever I was upset. He used to say that their scent and color are enough to make anyone happy." I spoke.

"I'm sorry about your father." He said to me with a low voice.

"My father is not dead. I hope he is alive though. The truth is that he left my mother and me and ran away supposedly with another women. I was just a little kid back then. My mother and I found a note by him on the kitchen table saying that he loves us and is very sorry for his doing. He also promised that he'd visit us time and again and he did... for one whole year. He visited us and also bought many gifts for me. We used to talk on the phone all the time. The last time he came to see me was on Christmas and then I never saw him again. Maybe he just forgot that me and my mother existed but I hope not. I hope there was a reasonable explanation for abandoning us. The seven years I spent with him was the best one's I have lived so far. Even though he abandoned us, he is the person I'd ever love more than anyone in this world." I spoke not realizing that my eyes were all teary and I was crying my emotions out. After trapping them inside of me for years. I finally spoke about it and I was glad that it was before Joshua.

"I'm sure he loved you more than anyone else too Clara. And I know that someday he would return and will never leave you again." Joshua said and leaned in closer to my face and wiped off my tears.

"You look so pretty when you cry. Your nose and cheeks become more red. You look like a small baby." Joshua said with the warmest smile he had given me yet and then kissed me on my forehead.

"You are lucky that you still have hope for him to return. My father passed away then I was young. He was not the best father but I still wanted him to be around." He said to me.

"I can feel you. I have lost my mother too." I spoke.

"I'm sorry." Joshua said and held my hand.

"Aren't you going to ask me how?"

"No, if you are comfortable sharing it with me then feel free. I do not want to ask you questions that you might not be comfortable to answer." He said to me.

"My mother killed herself." I said with a sign. There was no response from Joshua. Maybe it was a lot to take in. He was just looking at me all shocked so I continued speaking.

"Even I do not know why she killed herself. She left without an explanation. She killed herself in front of me. I begged her to stop. To not abandon me like dad did. I needed her, I loved her. I kept begging and begging and all she was doing was crying and drinking the bottle of poison. She left me four years after father did. She was not around much because of her job and her missions but at least I was glad that she was there in my life. All these years I kept wondering if I was the problem. Everything I loved, left me. They both left me without an explanation. They left me on my own. All alone. Maybe I am the problem." I spoke and again found myself crying. Nastier this time. Joshua still did not say anything. He was just holding my hand tight. Honestly that was all I needed. I just needed someone to hold my hand and listen to me. To hear me out and understand. I cried for a good 10 minutes and then finally stopped.