I've grown up on the ideology that I must be married
It doesn't matter whether I'm happy or miserable, the main fact is I'm married,
But it must be a man, It always should be a man,
I wonder what they think of me when the find out I'm a lesbian,
"Its just a phase" they'll say or "it'll probably go away",
Like it's some disease, a sickness, a piece of clothing I can take off and put on whenever I like,
It was never "A PHASE", it had always been a part of me,
But when you grew up in hate you get stuck to this toxic mentality,
The conversations I've heard from people I've cared about, knowing they'll hate me too if only I came out,
So I've internalized my feelings and tried to like this guy,
But I've never felt a connection, I feel so out of line,
And in my quietness I would often cry,
I know it'll make me sound weak but it's better than dying, a thought I'm trying to defeat,
I'm growing in a world where love has its limits,
That me loving a woman is something so unforgiving, something that makes you feel uncomfortable when the one who's "uncomfortable" is me, the one who you give that look of uncertainty, the looks you give me make questioned my humanity,
"Its just a phase" they say and yes its true,
I'm slowly coming out to be the woman I alway locked up because I'm scared of you
And one day I'll marry the girl of my dreams,
It doesn't matter to me if I'll be an outcast to you society
