More Than Friends

Second chances

Chris

No one prepares us for life, our parents never tell us how difficult things can get. because no one knows exactly what will happen.

You can lose friendships when you're young and believe that's the worst pain in life. Then you get heartbroken for the first time, and you think that's the worst pain you will feel as your mom or dad takes you in their arms and you sob. Swearing you will never love anyone again.

Then someone dies.

No one prepares you for that. No one tells you how to deal with the pain of knowing you will never see that person again. So every person deals with it in a different way. Some of them drink, some cry, some get angry... There's no right way to deal with losing someone you love. Not even if you knew it was coming.

But no one prepared me for the pain of losing the love of your life.

After the paramedics took Bell from my arms I couldn't move, everything around me slowed down. I saw how paramedics took Richard away.

He lived.

Aaron shot him in the shoulder and apparently hit some nerves that made him faint.

I'm glad he didn't die. Aaron explained he was sending him to a prison up north where a lot of people he pissed off were there. He doesn't deserve the easy way out, he will be living his own personal hell and I'm glad.

But after they took him everything was a blur. One moment I was in the parking lot on the floor, the next I was in a chair in the ER. My clothes are drenched with Bell's blood, and I can't find the energy to look up or get up and get changed. All I can do is stare at her blood.

She got shot because of me and all the pain that follows is my fault. I lost her, and I will never forgive myself.

I drop my head in my hands as a silent sob leaves my lips.

I lost her.

"Chris?" Scott kneels in front of me. "Are you all right?"

I 'm all right? fuck no! Im not fucking all right.

I shake my head and rest my palms on my eyes. "This is my fault."

"It's not your fault Chris. None of us would've known what was going to happen. You can't blame—"

"Yes I fucking can, Scott!" I snapped, standing up from the chair. "She got tied up to a fucking chair because I couldent stay away. Jeremy had his leg broken because I couldn't stay away. Aaron and Dylan got a concussion because I couldn't stay away. And Bell got fucking Shot because I couldent stay away!" I run my hands thorough my hair ignoring the looks of everyone around me, they can go fuck themselves. "I only brought her even more pain into her life. She would be better off if I just... stayed away from her. And know I lost her because I couldn't stay away..." My voice breaks and I fall back to the chair, defeated.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I look up to see Jason with a pissed off look on his face. "Do you have any fucking idea what you did?"

Broke her heart multiple times and put her life in danger. I'm about to say but Jason cuts me off.

"You came into the life of my baby sister and made everything fucking better."

I shake my head. "Thats not—"

"Oh, would you shut the fuck up and listen to me for once?!" He snaps and I shut my mouth staring at Jason with wide eyes.

"She was broken, Chris. She wouldn't talk to anyone, and she would be alone all the time because she thought that's what she deserved. Fuck, she wouldent go to dad grave when she knew that's what she needed. She woulden't call me or Jeremy because she thought she was a fucking burden to us," He lets out a sight. "And worst of all we didn't reach for her.