We Were Just An Umbrella Collection | The Umbrella Academy x Reader

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁

☂︎UMBRELLA COLECTION༺
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"Like I said to your son and daughter earlier, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential. Without the client's consent, I simply can't help you." The Doctor tried explaining to 'our dad'.

"Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name." Five said looking straight into the doctors eyes. "Well, that's not my problem." The Doctor sighed, "Sorry. Now, there's really nothing more I can do, so..." the man said but was cut off by klaus. "And what about my consent?" Klaus said stepping closer to the desk.

The Doctor looked at klaus confused "Excuse me?" the doctor narrowed his eyebrows. "Who gave you permission..." Klaus started saying and then started to cry, "...to lay your hands...on my children?" he whimpered. "What?" we both said.

"You heard me." Klaus pointed at the man standing infront of us as tears started to fall down his eyes.

"I didn't touch your children." The Doctor stated confused out of his mind, "Oh, really? Well, then how did my children get that swollen lips, then?" Klaus said as more tears started to flow down his cheeks, "They doesn't have a swollen-" but before he could finish klaus walked over to five and punched him right in his mouth, and did the same for me.

Five grunted and I just starred at him and klaus dramatically gasped and inhaled sharply. "I want it. Name, please. Now." Klaus said with a cheeky smile. "You're crazy." The Doctor said as he leaned back in his chair trying to back away from klaus while he just chuckled like a maniac and whispered 'You got no idea'.

"Peace on Earth.' That's so sweet." Klaus said before grabbing the globe and smashing it into his head, blood started to come out of his forhead and the globe was completly destroyed.

He started to groan and yelled 'God, that hurt!'. "Im calling secur.." The doctor said picking up the phone but klaus quickly snatched away from his hand. "What are you doing?" The doctor yelled at klaus. Klaus put the phone up to his ear and gasped dramatically into it "There's been an assault... in Mr. Big's office, and we need security, now. Schnell!" He said before hanging up the phone.

"Now, here's what's gonna happen, Grant." Klaus started but was interupting by the Doctor "It's... Lance." he said, Oh, thats his name.

"In about 60 seconds, two security guards are gonna burst through that door, and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood, and they're gonna wonder, 'What the hell happened?' And we're gonna tell them that you... [crying] ...beat the shit out of us. [sobs dramatically, sighs] You're gonna do great in prison, Grant. Trust me, I've been there.

Little piece of chicken like you. Oh, my God, you're gonna get passed around like a... You're just... You're gonna do great, That's all I'm saying." He said as he sat in my seat, in my lap and I pushed him off. "Jesus, you are a real sick bastard." Lance said. "Thank you" Klaus said proudly fixing his blazer.

***

"Oh, that's strange." Lance said as he went through the files in the table trying to back away as klaus was invading his privacy and personal space, "What?" asked five as he leaned over the counter. "Uh, the eye. It hasn't been purchased by a client yet." Lance explained as he turned to face us, "What? What do you mean?" I said as I threw my chair to the ground and got in top of the table to see all the files.

"Well, uh, our logs say that the eye with that serial number... This can't be right. It hasn't even been manufactured yet... Where did you get the eye?" He turned to ask us, "That is none of you beeswax" I said as I jumped down the table and left the room.

"Well, this is not good." five said as I just sighed and piggy backed klaus down the stairs. "You know I really like how I am going with you to every adventure today but you really can't bother to tell me what a freaking eye ball has to do with anything" I told five as I let klaus go and he landed on the groud.

"I was pretty good, though, right? 'Yeah. What about my consent, bitch?'" Klaus chuckled at himself ignoring what I just told five. "Y/n and Klaus, what both of you told me it doesn't matter." He sighed as he sat down in the steps.

"What? What? What's the big deal with this eye, anyway?" I asked irritated by everything that has happened. "There is someone out therewho's going to lose an eye in the next seven days. They're gonna bring about the end of life on this Earth as we know it." Five explained to me and klaus.

"Yeah, can I get that 20 bucks, like, now, or what?" Klaus said as he was twirling around the side walk desperate for his money. "Your 20 bucks?" I said, "Yeah, my twenty bucks" klaus repeated.

"The apocalypse is coming, and all you can think about is getting high?" Five turned next to him as klaus sat down, "Well, I'm also quite hungry, Tummy's a-rumblin'." Klaus said as he etempted to imitate groaning. "You're useless."

Five sighed as I slapped his shoulder indicating for him not to be so mean but he ignored me, "You're all useless!" He continued as he threw his arms in the air. "Oh, come onnn" Klaus said shaking five, "Lighten up, old man" klaus said attempting to brighten up five but he just sighed.

"Hey, you know, I've just now realized why you're so uptight. You must be horny as hell!" Klaus laughed, I also wanted to laugh but I held it in because even thought I was quite close to him, he wouldn't hesitate to hit me.

"All those years by yourself. It's gotta screw with your head, being alone." klaus told five while I stood up and digged through my pocket for those twenty bucks. "Well...I wasn't alone." Five explained as he put his head in his hands and sighed, "Oooh do tell?" I said handing Klaus the twenty buck as he kissed my hands and thanked me.

"Her name was Delores. We were together for over 30 years." five explained as he stood up and looked at me, "Thirty years? Oh, wow!" klaus chuckled and stuffed the twenty bucks into his pocket. "You know what I am leaving, bye" five said as he spaced jumped away into a taxi.