Twenty-Eight-I'm Sorry 7.4

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Tris

My dreams are riddled with childhood trips to Erudite on Visiting Day and apple picking in the fall. There's a boy playing with me. He feels so familiar but I don't know who he is. I wake to pounding on my door. I rise up and wonder... where am I? The pounding continues and I find the door. More pounding down a hallway. I hear a lock click and Eric is walking in the door. I close my eyes and remember... leadership training.
"Nice bedhead, Little Stiff," he teases.
"That nickname..." I start.
"Hmm?" he questions.
"Nothing," I say shaking my head. It was just a dream.
"You're not ready," he points out.
"Sorry. I'm used to the noise of the Pit as my wake up call. It's too quiet here," I say.
"You can shower after the workout. Just put something on. We need to get down to breakfast," he insists.
I step into my bedroom and throw some clean clothes on. I run to the bathroom and wash my face, brush my hair and teeth quickly. I step back out to Eric sitting on the sofa again.
"Done?" he questions. I nod. "Let's go."
We arrive at breakfast. There are more stares and whispers. Christina sees me and waves. I wave back sheepishly but keep going with Eric. Her mouth opens in shock. I bite my lip and sit beside him.
"Welcome to the club," Ryan says beside Eric.
"Thanks," I smile at him. I've never spoken to him besides when I chose my job. He was speechless at my choice.
I eat my eggs not even caring that there's no salt on them but I see Eric shake some on his and mine. I chuckle at him. For being the big, scary leader Four described, he's more of a kind of silly and playful person than I would've expected.  I notice Four walk in and sit with Zeke.  His back is to me but I observe Zeke motion to me and Four turns around.  He sees me. 
"You should wave," Eric chuckles. 
So, I do.  He gives me a confused look.  I see him glance at Eric.  Eric smirks and sits back in his seat.  He puts his arm around the back of my chair and I look to him in question. 
"Why do you have your arm on my chair?" I inquire. 
"To make Four jealous," he easily admits. 
I sigh frustratedly.  "Could you kindly remove your arm from my chair?" I ask as evenly as I can. 
His eyes meet mine and they soften.  "Alright," he agrees.  He moves his arm and goes back to his breakfast.  I see Four looking over his shoulder at me a few times during the meal. 
"Stop worrying about him.  You need to eat," Eric insists. 
"Alright," I agree going back to my plate. 
I notice Four rise and several young people get up and follow him out of the cafeteria. 
"You about done?" he asks. 
"Yeah," I tell him drinking the last of my milk. 
We get up and walk side by side out of the cafeteria.  We continue on and I realize we're not going to the training room. 
"Fear sims?" I question. 
"It's the third week," he tells me. 
"How'd the fights go?" I ask. 
"I think Four put the strongest guy up against my sister to get even with me for pitting you up against Peter," he responds.  I blink in shock. 
"Why did you put me against Peter?" I question. 
"I guess it was my way of not showing favoritism toward you.  I also thought you had a chance against him.  You didn't fight, though.  You just took a beating without complaint," he tells me. 
He pushes open the door to the fear simulation waiting room.  I follow him inside.  He glances at a pretty blonde and I feel self-conscious for some reason.  She smiles at me sweetly, though.  He knocks on the door to the testing room and opens it without waiting for an answer. 
"There you are.  Why was Tris sitting with you today?" Four asks.  I'm behind Eric and he must not be able to see me because I can't see him around Eric's massive frame. 
"Are we going to do this or what?" Eric asks him dismissively. 
"Hey?" Four whispers as Eric steps out of the room. 
Eric gently moves me aside.  They make the same announcement as my group.  I'm surprised they're doing this on a Tuesday but I hold my questions back.  Afterward, Four tries whispering to Eric about me but Eric ignores him.  He still hasn't noticed that I'm standing right here. 
"Four, they're all yours," Eric says. 
Four calls the first name on his list and Eric nods to me to exit the door we came in.  He follows me.  We step out of the waiting room into the hallway. 
"You owe me seven points," I tell him. 
He chuckles.  "He didn't follow us out."
I point to the door. 
"Are you seriously going to ignore my question?" Four asks joining us in the hallway. 
"Yup," Eric says turning around and walking away. 
"Tris!" Four calls out.  "What's going on?"
"I'm not allowed to say," I shrug. 
He looks angry that I'm refusing to answer as well. 
"Sorry," I apologize and follow Eric. 
"You win," he says grudgingly.  "He never follows me."
"Has it ever been about me?" I question. 
"So he's more determined when it comes to you," he nods.  "I can understand that."
We go to the training room and he has me start out on the heavy bag like in initiation.  I can handle the movements and I think I was always good at this, I'm just weaker than I used to be.  I ate more in Abnegation than I have here as of late.  He observes me.  I see him nod that my form is good. 
"Just keep going," he encourages. 
He gets beside me and removes his shirt to practice as well.  I try not to look at his perfect, chiseled physique so I keep my eyes on the bag.  It was difficult yesterday, too.  I've never seen him with his shirt off.  He was never the one to train us—always Four.  And Four doesn't take his shirt off in public no matter what—even to this day.  Four and Eric are no comparison, though.  Eric is at least double his size in bulk of pure muscle. 
Eric steps aside for a moment and comes back with a bottle of water for each of us and a towel. 
"Here," he hands one of each to me. 
"Thanks," I say softly. 
He meets my eyes and smiles at me again.  He has a distant look in his eyes as he stares into mine.  Maybe he does have serious feelings for me.  I can't entertain that, though.  From what I've heard about him and the other girls of Dauntless, it doesn't sound like he'd ever be a fit for me.  Four's problem was that he needed to work on his kindness for sure.  I couldn't put up with the constant insults.  I'm sure that has stemmed from his childhood.  With Eric, I'm not looking to be his latest conquest.  I would only consider a certain type of man—one who cares for me and gets along with me but most importantly believes what I believe.  Four was close... but his attitude was impossible to get around.  I told him so and he never made any changes so I won't be with him.  By Eric's behavior, he clearly doesn't qualify. 
"What are you thinking about?" Eric asks me. 
"Nothing," I say dismissively sipping the water. 
"It didn't look like nothing," he protests grinning. 
"The great mysteries of the universe," I reply.
"That would explain it," he laughs lightly. 
"How's your arm?" I inquire noticing the bandage for the first time. 
"It's not bad actually.  It's a little tender but not what I was expecting at all.  I'm only wearing it so I remember to take it easy," he tells me. 
"Did you use that ointment I gave you?" I question. 
"Not yet," he replies. 
"Use it tonight and it'll be fine by morning," I tell him. 
"Alright," he smiles. 
I can't help but comment, "I've never seen you smile before."
"Not that you can remember," he insists. 
"Not that I can remember," I agree rolling my eyes. 
"That's because I haven't been this happy in a long time," he says softly. 
I'm about to ask why he's so happy but he beats me to it. 
"I've got my two favorite girls with me," he says and I sigh and turn back to the bag.  I don't want to hear about his weird behavior with his girls.  I was never planning on stepping foot in his apartment last night—even if there was a problem.
I pummel the bag much harder now.
"I'm impressed. I just had a flashback of you and Molly," he tells me as he works on his bag.
"Yeah," I agree. That's how angry I feel right now for some reason.
"What set you off?" he questions.
"Molly insulting my body," I tell him.
"Clearly she was jealous of you," he says.
"What?" I respond stopping the bag from swaying.
"Peter was always checking you out. He obviously had a crush on you. She looked like she had a crush on him," he says. "So was Four, Al, Drew, and me."
I snort in disbelief at that. He doesn't say anything else and we continue at the bags. He moves onto weights and I honestly wish we would've done this in training. I see my muscles growing already. He tells me the technical, Erudite-like name for it but he explains that here in Dauntless, that's known as the pump.
"Keep working at it. The more you do this, the more muscular growth you'll have and the stronger you'll be," he says. "We'll keep building you up to get where you need to be."
I nod and listen as he's teaching weightlifting and all the proper techniques. "You should be the initiate trainer," I say.
"Maybe I can write weightlifting into the plan for next year," he nods taking my suggestion and I'm surprised by the ease of that—how he takes my opinions seriously. 
We finish up and move to the mats. I'm a little nervous but he said sparring, not fighting. I take off my shoes and so does he. In the ring, I realize truly how much bigger than me he is. I am small and weak like Four always said.
"Come at me," Eric insists.
"Yeah, right," I reply.
"Come on. I want to see that strength and determination. Show me what you've got," he presses.
My eyes soften at that. We pace each other for a moment before I come at him with an elbow to the stomach. "You're fast," he laughs in surprise as he blocks the hit. "Faster than I remember. I almost didn't catch that. You've gotten taller, too."
I laugh in disbelief. He's complimenting me—about my physical appearance.  That's something I only get from Christina and the girls. Uriah sometimes, too, but just platonic-like and friendly.
"Again," he commands breaking me out of my reverie.
I follow his instruction and we do just spar. I attempt my hits and kicks from what I know, what I remember. I'm a little rusty but not bad. I tried to remain fit but the last few months, that tapered off and I have been on survival mode—conserving energy. He attempts a few punches and kicks but he's absolutely holding back. They're at my speed and level to help me build up for the future and I appreciate it. I block each one but I'm learning and grateful for it.

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