This Could Get Ugly / Conrad Fisher

Back to the Days

6 Months Prior

"W-what?" I stumbled over my words and was met with another wave of taunts.

"She didn't actually believe you were with her for real, right?"

"O-Oh wait, she did!"

The circle of boys closed in around me. It suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe properly. How many were there here, five? Six maybe? The fear started to gather in my stomach.

I repeated the question, "What did you say?" I was hoping my voice sounded stronger than it actually was right now. 

Jason spoke up. "I said, I've been lying to you for the past year. It was fake, all of it."

It was like my mind was on speed dial, calling up all of the memories we shared together. Had he been lying to me for a whole year? I just couldn't believe it.

"You're lying," I said.

"Oh this is the most truthful I've been, baby." The pet name was mocking, it made me want to puke. I think my face got even paler.

I felt exposed, betrayed, and angry most of all. He had lied. He had lied. I couldn't stop the wave of insecurity that crashed over me. It was as if I was swimming in the ocean and the strongest rip current has swept me off my feet. I didn't know what was up or down or if I was breathing air or if my lungs were collapsing from the influx of water within them.

I felt a lump rising up in my throat and swallowed. I knew what was happening, the water had already filled me. The more I thought about it the more embarrassed I became. He lied every second of our relationship and I'd believed every word. I was naïve, a fool. But I was not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I had to get it together and act like they couldn't hurt me. I was going become untouchable. That invincible appearance was one I want others to see and to send the message that I was not going to be made a fool. 

I ran my fingers through my hair and looked back to Jason. I wonder how long it had been since he last spoke. My eyes found his hazel ones, the ones that I had loved. 

"That's okay." I released a breath like I had been waiting for this moment. "Geez, I am just so so glad that I don't have to pretend anymore to like you. It was starting to become sickening." My voice was shaking, I could tell. But I wasn't about to go down without a fight. 

Jason had this knowing smile, almost like a grimace. "Look, I know you're lying."

"You don't know anything about me," I boldly declared.

"Give up the act, Caroline. You didn't know. You trusted me fully. Remember those pictures you sent?"

I really wanted to throw up now. Those pictures were send in confidence. I was in love and he was right; I had trusted him fully. What little confidence I had was gone. I felt smaller than an ant, about to be squashed by someone's foot. Jason's foot.

I still didn't want to cry in front of him. "You showed those to others?" The realization was still creeping in. 

"Of course. No one's been able to see what's underneath all of those designer clothes until me. It was a miracle! We all almost threw a party." 

And this was officially the worst party I had ever been to. I didn't even like parties. Drinking made me feel out of control and I never ever wanted that. 

He had my pictures. He sent my pictures. I needed home now. Screw saving face. I was feeling sicker and sicker.

Suddenly, I bent down right in front of Jason and threw up on his brand new Jordans. 

"Ew! What the hell, Caroline," he retched out. It gave me the smallest satisfaction to see him suffer a bit too.

I am completely mortified by the way things had gone tonight. So, I picked flight. I burst through the group of boys who were all about to start puking themselves. They were all caught off guard. How weak they were; They couldn't even handle a little throw up. The thought made me want to laugh. In fact, I did laugh. I think I am hysterical. 

I left the crowded kitchen area. That's where they had cornered me. Jason asked me to go with him to get a drink and I want to be wherever he is. I wanted to be wherever he was. I needed some fresh air. 

I burst through the front door and was surprised to find no one outside on the front lawn. Works for me. I collapsed down on the front steps and tried to catch my breath. Then, I told myself, I would get into my car and drive home. 

The drive home seemed impossible, I wanted to cry. Who could I call? I didn't even know where Michael was although I did see him earlier. I was willing to bet that he was too inebriated to drive me anywhere. I didn't even want him to see me this way, I hated feeling weak in front of others.

The front door opened. And a boy came out who looked like he had been kissed by the sun. My first thought was of how gorgeous he actually was. He had a strong jawline and a straight nose. His skin was the color of honey. But that wasn't what got me, it was his eyes. A light blue, lighter than the sky. I was entranced, I couldn't stop looking. 

He looked vaguely familiar. But I couldn't place him.

"Are you alright? I saw you storm out," he said. His voice was surprisingly soft for a boy of his height. I imagined it to be darker, rougher. All the same, it was a very nice sound to hear. 

"Do I know you," I asked. Not my finest moment to forget the formalities but I was a wreck.

"You probably know my dad," he said under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I'm a friend of Jason's. You're his girl, right?" The way he said his girl, I didn't like it.

"Not anymore." A new wave of tears was about to overtake me. My voice was very sick from all the emotions.

He looked startled. The type of look a boy gets when he knows a girl is about to cry and he has no idea how to stop it. I almost wanted to laugh.

"You know, my dad's pretty famous. I think he's been on set with your mom a few times. I've seen you around before, you really don't know me," he teased. I didn't notice but he was sitting right next to me all of the sudden.

The realization came to me, I think it must have shown on my face. "You're Jeremiah, right?" It all made sense. "Adam Fisher's son? Wow you guys really look alike."

What a night. This had to be the oddest encounter I had ever had.

"Yeah, one of 'em at least," he smiled, and my night got a little better. It was a good distraction. 

"This has to be the weirdest night I've had in a long time." 

"I got to sit next to the most beautiful girl I've seen. I don't think its all that bad." His smile widened. Does he ever stop smiling?

"Hitting on me already? I just had a break up, you know." So he was a flirt, that was alright. 

"All the more reason," he said. "Kidding," he added as an afterthought, "are you okay?"

I looked at him and the concern on his face and I thought it funny a guy I just met would care this much. 

"I think I will be." 

"Then that's all that matters."

 I could feel that this was the right place to be, despite what had happened. I was next to a boy who cared. And that was a lot more than anyone had done for me in a long time.