This Could Get Ugly / Conrad Fisher

When You Don't Know What To Say

My mother looked up at me with emotionless eyes. I began to be filled with terror. She was sitting. I was standing. It made me feel powerful to have a higher height than the woman who could do it all. I looked up to her in every single way and now she was the one looking at me.

"M-Mom?" My voice shook.

She kept staring straight ahead, like she couldn't hear me. Her clothes, hair, everything was motionless. It's like she was stuck in one motion.

And yet she was still acting like a normal person. It was singlehandedly the creepiest thing I had ever experienced in the kitchen of all places.

She continued to talk on the phone to someone on the other line.

"I don't know, it's like everything I do will never be enough."

"Don't say that, mom." I start towards her. "You are absolutely perfect."

"I hand her perfect opportunities and she throws them away. Perfect relationship and family to marry into and she goes and turns the whole situation around and breaks his heart. I will always be on her side," she sighs, "but why does she have to make it so difficult." She puts a hand to her face.

Oh she means Cara. She just broke up with her boyfriend, it was awful. We legit had seven sad ice cream nights in a row and even those magical nights couldn't fully heal her broken heart. It hurt to watch her go through such anguish and emotion. All I could do was hug her and threaten to hurt him. I felt helpless.

"Right, what more can I do? She doesn't seem to want the things I want and I can tell."

"Mom, that's not fair."

"She's not my little Lina anymore, following me around and doing everything I did. She doesn't even want to be like her mother."

Chills cascade down my spine when she finally looks me in the eyes.

"She's hopeless." I fall to the floor on my knees. It feels like a knife has been staked through my heart.

"Lina wake up."

"There is nothing I can do but watch her train wreck grow worse." She looks at me with cold eyes. I start to scream. All I want is her approval.

"Lina, wake. Up." The words coming out of her mouth don't sound like her anymore."

I instantly shoot up off the bed. My head collides into another's. My hand shoots up to the impacted area. Holy crap that hurt.

"Shit, Lina. That hurt." I know that voice from anywhere.

"Jere!" I ignore the current headache and wrap my arms around him as he moves to sit in front of where I was just laying.

I thought he was going to be gone for two more days. What a happy surprise.

"I missed you so much Lina." He hugs me even tighter.

I break away only to take a look at him. He looks happy to see me but weighted down by something. I don't know what it could be but I'm thrilled at how easy he is to read.

"What's wrong?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing, what could be wrong when I get to finally see my favorite girl?" He swallows. "Are you okay? You're shivering." He engulfs me again into his unique scent.

"I just had a really weird dream. I don't even know what it was all about." Weird? More like terrifying, hopeless. A dark feeling has made a home within me. I push it back for Jere's sake.

"Well, I'm just glad you made it back safely. You'll never guess who broke up?"

His interest piques. Such a gossip. Jeremiah is the fakest person I know. It makes me crack up just thinking about it. "No clue, who?"