My Star In The Sky

Chapter 8

                                      After
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We sat there for another 30 minutes in silence.The sun had already come down, letting the moon shine over us.

I didn't have the energy to cry anymore. It felt like everything in my body was drained out and couldn't stand the silence so I asked her if she wanted to lay on top of my house and look at the stars. I have 4 missed calls from my parents so I'd have to come home sooner or later.

When we walked in, we didn't say anything about it to them. Imani says I can tell them whenever the time is right, but tonight isn't the right time. She's already dealing with her family finding out the news and it'll be too much for her. And I get that. Imagine knowing that you're gonna pass away soon. It's chilling to even think of.

We got to my room and we shut the door gently, and climbed out of the window. I grabbed her hand and helped her up onto the roof. The weather was balmy and the wind had still blown here and there, but other than that it was silent. Not even the crickets were chirping. Me and Imani had laid down on our backs.The roof was hard and rough. After a while I say, "I got jumped last week."
I didn't know why I said it, and regretted it afterwards. It felt a little selfish to say considering the fact that my best friend told me she had a liver disease a few hours ago.
I can feel her turning her head to look at me.
"Is that why your lip looks weird?"
I laugh.
"Yeah."

After a few seconds she says, "I know you're scared to stand up for yourself, but one day you have to show them. You have to show them that you're Dyaln fucking Montague and no one picks on you. Ever."
"It's not that easy."
"Sure it is. I can teach you."

I look at her.
"Teach me?"
"Yeah. How to fight. Duh."
I nod my head. "Yeah okay."
"I'm serious."
"I'm serious too."

We just lay there for a few minutes without saying anything. I think about what my mom told me. About how you'll never know if you never ask. I wish I could tell her now that it's not that easy. I can already feel things about to change. A lot.

"Do you know how long you have?"
Imani sits up.
"My doctor says a little over a month," she whispers.
I sit up too.
"That's it?"
She nods sadly.
"No," I whisper. "No. No. No. That's not fair."
"I know. They're doing all that they can. I'm gonna be in the hospital on my last few days. Maybe even sooner just in case I die early."
"Don't say that Imani."
She turns to look at me.
"Look, I'm sorry if I'm making this worse. But the thought of knowing that I won't be able to graduate, go to Italy, read all the books in the world, be with you–"
"But you can be with me. I want you to be my girlfriend."
She shakes her head.
"We don't have enough time."
"Well I don't think that I can live with the fact knowing we never even tried."
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For the next two weeks, I and Imani have been hanging out as much as we could . We had our first kiss outside the cafe. She tasted like cherries, but maybe it was just her flavored chapstick she wears all the time.

After that, we just roamed around the town and ended up sneaking inside the movie theater because I didn't have any money left since I spent it on buying her a huge latte with oreos on top. Her favorite.

We didn't really pay attention to the movie since we had held hands and made out the whole time. My lips were starting to hurt, but every kiss was worth it.

Imani has been teaching me how to fight. She did karate as a kid and she has a punching bag in her garage.

I also told my parents about her sickness a couple days ago. My mom cried a little, and of course that made me cry so we just cried together. My dad didn't cry because he never knew Imani all that much, but he was still upset because he knows how close we are.

You may be wondering what I'm gonna do when she leaves this earth and the answer to that is... I don't know.

There was a before her, a during her, but could never imagine an after her. It all hurts too much to think about so I just pretend that everythings fine. But it's not.
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My mom drove me to therapy. I had a ton to talk about since the last time I came. She asked me different questions this time like "How are you and Imani," and "Have you been feeling alone lately?"
I told her everything about how me and Imani are dating, but I left out the part where she has a liver disease.

Maybe because I hate thinking about it and the thought of it makes me angry. Why her? What will I do once she's gone and I have no one but myself? How will her mom cope with the loss of her daughter? I don't want things to go back to the way they were before we met.

Instead, I talk about the good things. I talk about how I've been journing like she told me to and trying new things like skating and working out with my brother and his friends.
"My parents haven't argued in two whole weeks," I told her.
She smiles a little and nods.
"That's good Dylan. I'm glad everything's going well and you're feeling better about yourself. And the thing with you and Imani seems like it makes you very happy."
I nod.
For the next 30 minutes, I talked to her about random things like the book I'm currently reading,and a movie that I love because I can relate to the main character. It feels good to talk to her about this kind of stuff. She listens and she asks questions that help make me feel less alone.

My mom was already sitting in the lobby when I left.
"How was it?"
"It was good," I say. She looks at me and I can't exactly read the look on her face. Maybe she's confused that I'm not showing any emotion about Imani when I cried in her arms a few days ago.
"Are you hungry? You want to go grab something?"
I shake my head and close the door.
"I'm fine mom. I'll just eat something when we get home."

I ended up not eating for the rest of the night and at 12am, me and Imani snuck out into town. Everything is dark and empty around this time. The only thing that was open was the corner store and the guy who works there gives us free stuff
sometimes since we're "cool."

We got a ton of snacks, went to the park and hung out on the swings.
The moon had shone above us and this time, the cricket's around us were louder.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask her as I open my bag of sour patches.
"Anything."

I take a deep breath and look up at the sky. "Do you think we'll meet again? Like, in a different universe?"
I can feel her looking at me. "Of course we will," she says softly. "I'll always be with you."
I look at her too and say, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She pauses for a moment before saying, "Remember when we were little and I was obsessed with the stars?"
I snort. "How could I forget?"
"I want to turn into those when I'm gone. So everytime you look up at the sky at night, I will be there. All the stars in the sky. Looking after you."

I half smiled. "It hurts too much to think about."
Imani looks down and starts rocking feet. "I know. I wish we would've said something sooner about how we felt about each other, you know?"
"I know. I regret it. I really do," I say.

She puts a ton of pretzels in her mouth and starts swinging. Her long hair moves up and down with her as she swings her legs and I just watch her. She's so pretty it hurts.

Just the thought of what's awaiting in the future makes me want to hold her in my arms forever until it's time to say goodbye. The stars would be so proud to know their atoms created someone like her.