Terrified

Prologue

Have you tasted the best cake in your life? Good high-quality cakes are first and foremost, attractive with its notable unique designs and originality in its appearance. The taste should be right and not with exaggeration or its flavors, just as sweet as the feelings and passion poured into it. However, no matter how beautiful and appetizing it looks like from the outside, the process to its perfection is never stress-free. There are mistakes done during the process and a lot of trials that were worked on until scars, tears and even blood are visible but sometimes the continuous failures in the process can cause someone to give up. This process is something that my terrified heart from loving can relate to.

Are you one of those unfortunate and unlucky people whose dreams shattered because of a certain event that we cannot turn it back anymore to make it right? I am. Similar to the sound of a guitar is how my life flows in the darkness; out of tune when not set and adjusted, but definitely divine once practiced. Same goes to my voice that gives harmony to my world that's nothing but black is like my life; hitting the wrong pitch at times but with hard work it gets better and the rhythm comes along well. My life isn't in a perfect tempo, just like how instruments and my voice are also imperfect. This determination that's hanging onto my flawed life is how I heal my terrified heart from embracing love.

What are your personal preferences with a coffee, the bitter ones or the sweeter ones? Out likings differ and it may change from time to time, depending from the season, alters over time, overnight or for a long period of time for those who are loyal and devoted to their personal choices. A coffee, I can say, is a reflection of how my relationship goes. It feels and gets heavier as it goes on for the thickness suffocates me, the aroma is soothing to my senses but its taste varies from each one I make for there are times that the scent doesn't fit my style. Either it's bitter or sweet, mild or rich; the coffee remains neutral in color and dark. This kind of relationship is what my terrified heart is afraid to let go, scared to roast.

How do you want your significant memories to be captured? How do you want someone important in your life be closer to you? Taking photographs and recording what's hot are the trendy ways to relish memories nowadays, thus, I have all these cameras with me. Everything I do is documented in these precious collections of cameras that I have. The reminiscences and remembrances are all collected here for me to look back on them. However, despite of these thousands of photos and videos that I have from all the places and people I've seen and met, I have no memory of this thing they so-called, romance. My heart has been alone and shielded for I am inexperienced in love. This terrifies me a lot.

We know and have heard of what love is. However, we are terrified.