Only With You ♡ KinnBig

hating yourself

Kinns pov:

"Big"-"Because i... I saw... you"

"......" I just sat there in shock, i couldn't say anything bigs word woke me up.

"Big"-"khun kinn I'm so sorry, i don't know why i said that"

"I said call me kinn when we're alone, and i think you know why u said that, big is there something you want to tell me, if there is please tell me now" -i said waiting for him, he put his head down, I lifted his chin gently, he looked shocked but i didn't care i just wanted to hear it from him.

"Big"-"kinn i... I just..." -He paused for a minute.-

"Big just tell me okay."

"Big"-"i like you!" -He screamed, i couldn't help but smile.- "and I'm scared because i know you will never like me back,  even if you like me back i can't be with.... A man, it's wrong and I'm sorry I'm like that i can't help it!" He continued, he was talking to fast I didn't even realize half of what he was saying.

"Big calm down" he ignored me and was still talking about stupid gay thing, i couldn't stop him so i leaned in and kiss him gently, surprisingly he kissed me back, we were kissing, until he pulled away and slapped me.

"Big"-"what are you doing asshole, who told you to kiss me, did you even listen to what i just said?!" He was screaming and i just stood there in shock.

"Big i just"

"Big"-"Just what?!"

"You said you liked me, and..."

"Big"-"And what you just decided to kiss me" -he cut me off.-

"I'm sorry" He continued to talk and I stood like a small child being punished, I soon realized I could no longer restrain myself i was getting angry, so i just left.

Bigs pov:

Actually i liked the kiss but I can't kiss a man it's not right, after he left i realized that all the stupid shit i said wasn't because of him, it was because of me, i just hated myself for liking a man and took it out on him. Fuck big you are so stupid you just hurt the person who is the most important thing in your life you're so stupid. I just want to kill myself right now, ahhhh.

One hour passed i was hoping that he would come back, but he didn't, so I tried to stand up, he left so angrily i need to talk to him after all I'm still his bodyguard, i was so weak, I could barely stand, but I didn't care i had to find him, finally I left the room and started looking for him when I couldn't find him on this floor I went upstairs,Walking upstairs was very tiring,i was scared somebody would find me so I didn't take the lift, as soon as I got up, I walked down a large corridor, I was so tired I could not walk anymore, the wound opened and I fell down, i was about to faint when i heard his voice.

"Kinn"-"big,big, why are you here? Your wound!

"I was just looking for you, and the wound ohh i think it was stairs" -i smiled-

"Kin"-"why didn't you call me, your bleeding and still smiling, i can't understand you really"

"Shit i forgot about the phone" -I'm really dumb hah-

"Kinn"-"Come on, we have to call the doctors"

"Wait, we have to talk"

"Kinn"-"we will, first you have to be safe okay, we will talk" -and that smile again ahh- i just nodded and he called the doctors, after they came, one of the doctors said that he had to wait outside.

"No"they both looked at me "stay here with me, okay?"

"Kinn"-"Okay I'm staying"

After They stopped the bleeding and gave me some medicine, i fell asleep, assholes i had to talk to kinn and only thing i remember is how i took his hand and i held on tight, shit even when I'm half sleeping i still want him close, ahh im fucked.

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