Where Is Your Rider?

Chapter IX: Aether

I had severed all my ties. All my bonds to my past. The friends I would get drunk with, my old friends from school, my family, my parents. I had nothing left to say to them. My friends, they could continue without. Perhaps they would raise a glass to my name before they part ways again. And my family? I didn't know how they would react. I hadn't spoken to them in a long time. How would they remember me?

They were never fond of you. You only met my parents a few times, even though we were together for a few years. My friends didn't like you as much as I wanted them to like you. You were avoidant of them. You only wanted to spend time with me. Just the two of us, like always.

I met you at a bar. I was drunk, you were drunk. Drunk and lonely. Some guy was harassing you and I thought you needed some assistance with that. He left and I didn't want to bother you anymore. But you asked me to stay. You wanted to talk to me. I complimented your tattoo. Purple and pink heather. Heather is associated with strength and free will. Purple heather represents beauty, pink heather represents love and passion. You already had the beauty, you merely needed the love and passion.

You liked my hair. I never enjoyed being touched, yet I let you brush through my curls the first time we met. We both got quite drunk. This became a theme throughout our relationship.

At the end of the night, I walked you home. We were both too far gone to do anything we would enjoy. I held your hand as we slowly shuffled towards your home. You got closer. You stopped me and touched my shoulder. I faced you and you stepped in front of me. Your beautiful features came closer to mine. It felt so far away. The clouds of the dark autumn night in the city wept. The rain traveled so far to reach us. The droplets stuck to our skin, like my lips stuck to yours.

I left you at your door. The rest of the night, the smile you began to love was printed on my face. I was truly happy that evening. I did not know yet how much time I would spend on your happiness. I did not know yet how much you would end up hurting me. I did not know yet I would have to sacrifice my life for you. Once, you held my world.

Emily was earth, Kiara was air, Evangeline was water, I was fire. You are the fifth element; Aether. You were my sky, my light. You were everything I could not explain. You were my heaven.

But you were not truly part of me. The Michelson-Morley experiment was used to disprove the existence of a luminiferous aether. The four other elements exist in my life, you do not. You were something else.

You know, the day before Evangeline and I left for Athens, I thought of going to see you. To say my goodbyes. To wish you the best. To tell you I would always love you, regardless of how often I convinced myself it was better this way. I wanted to thank you for all the love you gave me, even if it couldn't last forever.

But I didn't. You were better off without me.

I wish you well, my love.