Freefall-Book One

Chapter Three

          Chapter Three    

             Staring at the cream colored ceiling, I couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed.  His words taunted me, daring me to rebuke him, and I wanted to.  He didn’t have a claim to me; running had been my life, and I wasn’t about to stop for him now.  So why did it have to feel as if someone had taken my heart when he had stalked out of the room, slamming the door with such force that the shackles on my wrists jingled like holiday bells.  I had sighed, swung my long legs back up onto the cot, and closed my eyes.  It wasn’t fair.  I had never felt this type of feeling before, as if I were drawn to him, and he to me, and it was, honestly, unnerving.  Once again, the scene from my childhood played in my head.

                “Run, Sofia.  I can only distract them for so long!” Robert had whispered to me, standing with me at the outer gates of the compound.  The gates through which my freedom lay.  I had felt so alone, so lost, and he had slapped a hand to my back, pushing me with such force that I had stumbled through the gates and out into the world.  A howl in the distance, and that was when the running had started.

                A year later, and I had been so hopeful.  I hadn’t heard from the pack since my escape; maybe they had forgotten me!  Sitting on a park bench in New York, I had run a hand through my tangled curls, grinning up at the sky at the thought of true freedom.  I had looked like any other runaway.  The jeans I wore were dirty and smeared with who knows what, and the over-large sweater had seemed to engulf me.  Running had taken any baby weight that I had started with; I was lean, in shape, young, and alone.  It was a bad combination for any human in New York, but luck was on my side.  I wasn’t what you’d call human.

                I remember lying down on the bench, curling up into a small ball and resting my dirty head on my arms, letting the sun play across my body.  I hadn’t noticed the men watching me until a shadow had caused the sun to disappear, and I had opened my eyes groggily, looking up at the dark man towering above me.

                His hair was a dark brown, almost black, with silver streaks here and there.  My father had called it salt-n-pepper hair when I was little, using it to describe his own hair.  Smiling, I lifted my head up, turning myself until I was sitting before the man.  I had been naïve, and too young to know what he wanted.

                “Hi.  You need to sit or something?”

                “No, I’m fine where I stand, Sofia Harris.  Come with me.  We’ve someone waiting for you, honey,” he had said, his voice more a growl than anything.  The hair had stood up on the back of my neck, and I had shuddered.  He looked familiar now, the lopsided smirk, the dark hair, the muscled body.  He smelled familiar.  Like home…home?  No, it wasn’t good to smell that here, away from it all, in New York City.  He had grinned down at me and stretched out his arm as if to scoop me up.  Running again and he was close behind me.

                When I had hit the edge of the city, I had darted towards the fields, feeling my wolf beg to be released.  I didn’t deny her, and I felt the liquid burn of her rushing to the surface.  She screamed out of my body, fast enough that in mid-stride I was free, running on four legs, my paws hitting the dusty fields.  He was howling behind me, stopped at the top of a hill, looking down on me with loathing.  I didn’t stop running, hurdling through the dust, until nightfall.

                Sighing, I pulled myself from the memory, only to realize that my hands were clenched into tight fists at my side.  He rattled me that was all.  There were no other feelings there, hidden or otherwise.  And I couldn’t stay here, that was for sure.  The memory had been enough to pull me out of my current state of lethargy concerning escape.  Once again, I had to escape a dominating alpha of an unwanted pack.  Go figure.  It seemed as if that’s all my life had consisted of, thus far.  I felt ungrateful for just a moment, that my freedom wasn’t really freedom, and then it returned to me that my father, right or wrong, had given his life for my own.  Honoring it with my own version of freedom was all I had to give.

                Daddy, I don’t know what to do anymore.  I’m tired of running; it hurts too much.  I’m tired of fighting from day to day for my survival.  It isn’t fair, and I know that I should be grateful for the life you have given me.  I wouldn’t have survived if I had been forced to be a lover of the Alpha.  Thank you, but it hurts.  It hurts too much to live anymore.

                As hard as it was to live this life, I was determined that my own wrongs wouldn’t fall on this pack.  If not for anyone other than little Matt, who had snuck undisturbed into my heart.  His words lifted me up, sent me soaring.  I was wanted, if only I allowed someone to want me.  It wouldn’t be fair to stay here, darkening their lives any longer.  With a groan of frustration, I rolled to my stomach, my feet kicking behind me.  I laid my chin on my clasped hands and stared at the door, willing him to come through it.  I just wanted freedom.  Maybe if I spoke gently enough, and didn’t provoke him, he would grant me that one wish.  It would be better for his pack, anyway.  I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but if I had to in order to escape, I could at least blame it on him.

                “Sofia drives me insane, Peter.  She calls to me as no other has; I can’t deny her.  But she irks me to the point of insanity.  I get glimpses now and then of her kindness, and of her humility, and her guilt, but then that wall comes up, and I hate her for it.  I can’t understand her, but I can’t just let her leave.”

                “Kris, we’ve been together through hell and high water.  Ten years that you’ve been Alpha of this pack, and you’ve never taken the roll lightly.  Yeah, I have a feeling it might be better for us all if she leaves, but in the long run, we’d suffer.  Either way, I think something’s coming.  We can’t fight it if we don’t know what it is, or how it’s tied to her.  You worry too much about everyone else; you deserve happiness, too.”

                “I can’t be happy, not since Maria died.”

                “Losing a sister is hard, I know.  We all lost someone when the fighting broke out.  We were unprepared, and outnumbered.  But you can’t deny yourself what you need the most.  I don’t particularly like the chick, but that’s just me.  I don’t know her yet, and it might turn out that she’s the best thing that’ll ever happen to you, and you’re gonna let your pride get in the way.  I can tell you both have a stubborn streak a country mile wide.  Maybe if you send someone in who doesn’t piss her off, she might tell them what’s coming for her.  It’s gotta be something big; she looks like she’s been running for a while, and I bet she’s tired of it.  Just be gentle, man.”

                “I can’t think gentle when I’m around her, I just can’t.  She confuses me, and makes me mewl like a newborn pup.  I want her, Peter, but she’s bad for me.  Makes me forget my place and only see her.”

                “That’s not a bad thing once in a while.”

                “It’s bad if it puts the pack in danger.  Send Matt in to see her.  She seems to like him, and he’s warmed up to her quite well.  Whatever’s coming, we’ll be ready for it.”