The Admiral's Affairs

3 - Burdened with your name

"Do you honestly think that it's a good idea that they asked us back?" I looked at Phoenix and saw that she too, had a worried look spread all over her face. We arrived at the base and I noticed we were still holding hands. I let go of her hand and nervously scraped my throat.

"Are you doubting yourself Royal? I have never seen you this nervous before." She looked at me and smiled reassuringly. It didn't matter to me if she faked a smile or not, it always made me feel better.

"No of course not. I'm just stunned." The words hadn't even left my mouth when I saw a motorcycle driving onto the premise. "Oh shit" I exclaimed in panic and turned my head away.

"What?" Phoenix asked concerned.

"Uh" I started trembling, "you know how I have been avoiding my father for years now, well there he is."

"Wait, Maverick? He's in town?" she looked around and made a sound that could only mean one thing, he was coming our way. "Well Ro, if you want to run away, now is the time."

I waited a good five seconds before I slowly looked up, Maverick was standing right in front of us. He took his helmet off and his mouth fell slightly open, "Aurelia."

"Maverick" I gave him a solemn nod, the kind you give to strangers. Without moving a muscle in my face I walked around him, pulling Phoenix with me by her arm. "We're going to be late."

"What? How?" Phoenix stuttered as we walked away.

I felt tears well up in my eyes. I hadn't seen Maverick in years and there he was right in front of me. Even when mom told me that she and my father got back together I didn't come to visit. Why would I? He abandoned me. We walked into the building and went inside the locker room to change into our uniforms.

"Aurelia" Phoenix grabbed my shoulders and turned my body toward hers, "you can talk to me."

It made me shiver, the way she said my name. Goosebumps that started all the way up in my neck and slowly worked their way down to the bottom of my back. I didn't dare to call her by her name, that would be the end of my sanity.

"I can't, he-" my bottom lip started to quiver, I tried my best to hold back the tears but they won. Before I could even lift my arm up to wipe the tears off my face Phoenix wiped it off my cheek with her thumb.

"It's okay to feel emotions Royal, you're not a machine, and you don't have to be one either." She pulled me closer and pushed my head gently against her shoulder, "It's okay."

Before I knew it I was sobbing in someone else's arms, something I hadn't done since I was a little girl. But it wasn't just someone, it was Phoenix. My best friend, my- She kissed the top of my head. I pulled away and looked at her, slightly in shock.

"Come on Ro" She chuckled softly, "don't pretend you didn't like that."

I felt my stomach flutter and sighed, contemplating if I should do what I had been wanting to do for a long time. But Phoenix knew me, and she knew I wouldn't initiate it. She grabbed my head with both of her hands and slowly moved her face closer to mine. It felt like everything around me was moving in slow motion, I had never felt anything quite like this before. I grabbed her waist and in an instant her lips touched mine. I sighed and felt the corners of her mouth curl up.

"Hey, Royal and Phoenix-" a loud banging on the locker room door made me pull away, "let's go, they want us in briefing room 4. ASAP."

"Coming" we yelled in unison. I nervously started shifting around, completely taken aback by what had just happened. Without saying a word we quickly changed into our informs and sprinted out of the door towards the briefing room. There, Hangman was holding the door open for us with a big grin on his face, "lovebirds."

"What?" Phoenix shook her head in a panicked way and looked at me and back at Hangman again.

"Relax, I'm just kidding. After you ladies." He took a step to the side and waved his arm around in an 'enter' motion and closed the door behind us.

"Welcome Lieutenant Mitchell and Lieutenant Trace, I'm glad you could join us too." Commander Rivers said sarcastically while pointing to the two empty chairs in the front. We awkwardly made our way to the seats and sat down next to each other.

"As I said before you have been called back to TOPGUN for a mission, a top secret one at that." Commander Rivers took a sip of his water and looked up at the door. "And joining you as your new instructor-" he pointed at the door and quickly glanced at me, "captain Pete "Maverick" Mitchell." Everyone turned around to face the door but I couldn't bring myself to. Phoenix grabbed my hand and held it, not turning around either. I anxiously followed the sound of footsteps walking up to the front of the briefing room. Maverick cleared his throat,

"Good evening Lieutenants. I'm sorry for the late briefing but I thought you should know as soon as possible. Because we'll be leaving for TOPGUN first thing in the morning."

I finally brought myself to look up and my eyes immediately met his. I knew what he was thinking looking into a carbon copy of his own eyes, they way we slightly squinted them when trying to concentrate and the way they were screaming tragedy, heartbreak and years of loneliness. I wish he knew what he did to me, how it made me feel. The nights I spend laying awake and staring at my ceiling, going over perfect scenarios in my head. Dad who stayed, dad who spent time with me, dad who understood me. I convinced myself I never needed him but looking into his eyes I suddenly saw what I had been missing, and it broke me inside, all over again.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around,"your dad?" Coyote mouthed. I nodded and turned back around again.

"Lieutenant Mitchell, eyes up here please." Maverick said strict, exactly in the same way he would talk to me when I was a child. I clenched my jaw and balled my fist, ready to start yelling at him. But Phoenix held me down.

"So?" Hangman sat up straight in his chair, "what's the mission about?"

"Yes" maverick smiled, "I know you are all dying to know more about it but you just have to be patient. Tomorrow we will be leaving for TOPGUN and the day after tomorrow we will start training, the rest of your crew will join you there." He stepped off the platform and gave a nod to commander Rivers, before walking out of the room.

"You heard the captain, start packing. You are dismissed." Rivers hit the wooden desk with his fist. As soon as he said that I flew out of my chair and into the hallway, running after Maverick.

"You asshole" I screamed at him and moved my face right in front of his, "you fucking asshole, you're just doing this on purpose. Do you enjoy that Mav, huh?" I poked his chest with my finger.

He grabbed my finger and aggressively pushed it away, "don't you dare talk to me like that Aurelia." He hissed.

"You have no right to call me that, that's the name that mom gave me." I clenched my jaw together so hard that it started to ache.

"And what exactly am I supposed to call you? You have never even tried to talk to me like a normal kid talks to their dad." Mav raised his voice and straightened his back.

"A normal kid? You made me into the woman I am today", "dad" I added sarcastically. I turned my back towards him and started to walk away, still fuming with anger. "You might as well call me Mitchell, that's the name you burdened me with after all."