The Admiral's Affairs

5 - I will always love you

"I still don't understand those stupid pet names."

I choked on my water and it almost came squirting out of my nose. "Yeah if you say it like that it does sound dumb" I grinned while wiping the water off my chin with the sleeve of my sweater.

"You do know all of their real names right?" She said mockingly, in a way only sisters can.

"Of course I do. Hangman is called Jake, Phoenix is called Natasha, Payback's name is Reuben and Coyote is Javy." I put my hand on her shoulder and studied her face, I always found it funny that we look so different yet we are so much alike.

"Are you going to miss me Amelia?"

She looked up at me and rolled her eyes, "Will you stop with the sentimental crap already?"

"I'm just saying, I feel sorry for leaving you here alone with mom and grandma. I know how they can get."

Amelia stood up from the bed and walked up to my picture board, pulled the picture of us off and handed it to me. "I'm sorry you have to start spending a lot of time with Mav, but can you just give him a chance? For mom's sake?"

I shook my head slowly and looked at the picture, three happy faces with twinkling eyes stared back at me. That photograph must have been taken when I was a teenager and Amelia was still a little girl, we haven't taken a family picture in years. The carefree look on my younger self's face scared me, what have I become?

"I don't want to make mom unhappy, you know that. It's just-' I sighed, "it's just always been us three. And he never wanted anything to do with us, and now all of the sudden he wants to make up for more than two decades of lost time."

"So, why don't you let him?"

"Amelia, no, you're supposed to be on my side." I stood up and looked out of the window of my childhood bedroom, the sight I had carefully studied on countless lonely nights. The row of cars parked on the side of the street, the palm trees and how they majestically swayed in the wind, and the beach in the distance, with all of the happy family's. That was the only thing I would wish for every year on my birthday while I blew out the candles, a happy family.

"I am on your side, but just think about it. You being all bitter isn't going to solve this situation. He'll stay for real this time, I know it." She put her arms around me like she would do when she was a little kid, I can't remember the last time we had a moment like this together.

"All right, I'll try my best. For you."

I looked at the picture one more time and slid it into the inner pocket of my uniform. In an hour I would have to leave for TOPGUN, I decided to visit mom and Amelia one more time before the training started. It felt weird to be back in my hometown, I rarely ever visit San Diego anymore. The last time I was here was 6 months ago, for Amelia's sixteenth birthday. Two years ago after graduating I got stationed in Lemoore, 319 miles north of San Diego. But here I was again.

"Aurelia, get down here I have a surprise for you." Mom yelled from downstairs. Amelia let go of me and giggled nervously, "oh no not the surprise."

"What is it? It sounds like another stupid idea from mom." I shook my head and sprinted down the stairs. "Mom? Where are you?" I looked around but didn't see her anywhere.

"Outside."

I looked to my left and saw that the front door was left ajar. I opened it slowly, afraid of what my mother had come up with this time. I squinted from the sunlight hitting my eyes and saw her standing on the side of the street with her arms spread, showing off a motorcycle. "What?" My mouth fell slightly open.

"It's yours sweetheart, your first motorcycle." She gushed.

I knew what I was supposed to do, I was supposed to act excited and thankful. But I knew who that bike belonged to, it was Maverick's old motorcycle.

"And this is a gift from you?" I asked offended.

"Yes of course it's from me Aurelia. What's wrong? Don't you like it?" She walked up to me and tried to put her arms around me, but I pushed her away.

"Why do you keep lying to me about this mom? I know it's Mav's old bike, I wasn't born yesterday."

"It does feel like that sometimes." Said a man's voice coming from behind me. Mom sighed and shook her head, "Mav."

"Oh just great" I exclaimed, "couldn't you just leave us alone as a family for just this once." I turned around and saw Maverick standing there with two helmets in his hands.

"No way" I scoffed.

"Well-" he raised his eyebrows and shrugged, "we are going to have to spend time with each other anyway so why not start now?"

Rather not, I thought, but from the corner of my eyes I could see Amelia standing in the doorway with a hopeful look on her face. I took a deep breath and tried to muster up the courage to accept Maverick's invite. "Oh what the hell", I snatched a helmet out of his hand, "I'm driving."

"Nope" he sprinted towards the bike and sat down on it, "I'm driving."

***

"You know why I wanted to drive?" he asked me after a couple minutes of driving in absolute silence.

"Yeah, because of your enormous ego." I lashed out at him.

"No" Maverick shook his head, "because you are my little girl and if i can protect you in any way, I will do it."

"Oh please Mav" I scoffed, "and yet you gave me this bike, the most dangerous vehicle I could possibly drive."

We started to slow down and Maverick parked the motorcycle on the side of the road. He pulled his helmet off and looked at me. "Aurelia, I will always love you. You are my daughter damnit." He slammed his fist hopelessly against the seat of the bike.

"Yeah a daughter wants to hear that from her father for the first time a little sooner than at 26 years old." I pulled my helmet off too and stepped of the bike.

"Gosh you sound just like Carole." he sighed.

"Carole?" I exclaimed, "Oh so people did warn you about your neglective behavior?"

"Hey" Maverick yelled and grabbed my arm, "now you listen to me for once Aurelia. I am sorry, I couldn't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I failed. I was afraid-" he paused and looked down, "I was afraid I wouldn't be able to protect you, like I couldn't protect Goose, or Bradley."

I swallowed away what felt like a ball in my throat and looked into my father's sad eyes. I could start to feel tears well up in my own eyes and my hands started to shake. "Goose's death wasn't your fault, and you could never have stopped Bradley from enlisting in the navy."

He reached out and grabbed my trembling hands, "but I could have protected you, and in that I failed too."

"You didn't fail, I'm not dead." I grinned while tears rolled down my cheeks, "and besides, I'm good at protecting myself. I got that from you."

Maverick pulled me in for a hug and held the back of my head with both of his hands. It was a strange feeling but somehow it made me feel safe. "Dad" I mumbled.

"I'm here" he replied.