EUPHORIC | t.s.h

part thirty one

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

꒰ Remember when ꒱

Wallows

"You came."

Sam looked across towards Riley, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. There was a hint of comfort and happiness in them but also of pain and regret. Riley could tell he felt bad for what he did, but he needed too.

He needed to know that for the past few days she had been lying in bed thinking of one thing and one thing only, him.

He needed to know that she had dug herself inside her pillow so hard, making it as suffocating for her to breath through the cloth than it was outside in open air.

He needed to know that she felt scared, terrified, extremely petrified out of her life about what was to come. She didn't know what she wanted, she was just a girl.

He wouldn't be able to understand the pain. He wouldn't be able to comprehend what it felt like to make a decision that would define the rest of your life with such little time, a decision that went beyond yourself.

He made her feel miserable. As if she was alone in all of it, as if she had no one, and as if she was without the one thing she would have needed most.

How could she forgive him so easily.

"Riley..." Sam whispered, his voice was raspy, as if he had been crying. They walked towards each other until she stopped a few metres away from the bench. "I'm so sorry."

He finally breathed. He motioned to touch her arms to embrace them and hold her and tell her that he loved her, but she stepped away.

His face slowly faded from a comforting smile to a single expression, guilt.

There was silence.

Riley looked down at her feet, breathing loudly playing with her fingers as Sam looked at her. He felt his throat tighten, he wanted to cry again. How could have he let this happen?

"I love you." He said, hoping she would for once meet his eyes, for once that he might see the diamond in them shine through his own.

And she did, but the diamond didn't shine, it cut through his vision, it gashed his heart and broke it down to a million pieces. "You don't hurt someone you love."

"Riley, please." He said with a low crack in his voice, he held her hands and went down on his knees looking up at her.

"I don't know why I did that. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I can never understand what it must be like for you." He stared right into her soul, slowly making it rise and soften.

"You can't imagine how guilty I feel Riley, I love you so much, and I'd do everything in the world to take that night back." He squeezed her hands and his eyes begin to water.

"You don't understand how strong you are, I'm so sorry. I don't want to loose you." The tears gave in and his eyes went more red than before and his face pale.

Sam hugged Riley's waist, pressing his face agaisnt her stomach and sobbing into the fabric of her shirt.

"I acted that way because I know I can never be a good father to this baby Riley. There's nothing in this world I want more than to be with you, and to spend the rest of my life with you. I couldn't face it then. I can't face it now. I'll try. But I know I can't do it, I'll never be able to give this child what it needs."