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joke story

It was just like any regular school day for Kenny... except it wasn't!!1 ...Something interesting was in his locker, a black chain. It was small and shaped like a necklace, so Kenny assumed that it was just that. So he put it on for some reason idk

Anyways he went on with his day, but something felt super weird. Like some bad aura was hanging over his head. But Kenny wasn't necessarily a bad person, and he didn't have any enemies. So it's not like he could be cursed... right?

Well yeah that's right he isn't cursed he just feels sick. He ended up throwing up his lunch later that day while walking through the hallway. So he got sent home by the counselor.

But while he was sick at home, a student was assigned to go to his house and deliver a new and important project that the students had to do over the weekend. Kenny's parents weren't home and his siblings were busy doing something probably he's home alone okay. And the doorbell rings and since he's the only one home he has to go answer the door. He's not feeling super great but he gotta do it anyway.

His parka is gone and you can see his blonde hair and BEAUTIFUL purple eyes wowee. He swings the door open and sees Butters standing at the door holding a few papers with the project instructions on them. But Butters looks a bit different, he's got his hair dyed all dark and his clothes are styled. He has a spiky collar and also spiked bracelets on both of his wrists. And other things. 

"B-Butters?" Kenny stutters, his face heating up. Because Butters looks super fantastic. And stuff. Butters looks at Kenny angrily, "That isn't my name! You have to use my vampire name!" When he speaks, sharp fangs can be spotted inside his mouth, "I'm so sorry! What's your vampire name??" He asks quickly, "Vampire Butters," Vampire Butters hisses.

"Okay, I will call you Vampire Butters," Kenny says to Vampire Butters. Vampire Butters rolls his eyes, "Whatever, I'm not supposed to talk to normies. But I needed to give you these papers before the weekend," Vampire Butters shoves the papers into Kenny's hands, "Quick, behind you! There's something in your house!" Kenny turns around alarmed, but nothing is there. He looks back outside to question Vampire Butters, but he's already gone.

Kenny sighs dreamily as he looks out onto the empty street, "Wow, what a man..." He hums to himself. He goes back inside, his head full of Vampire Butters.

-----

That night, Kenny can't get his new crush out of his head. Vampire Butters was just so... alluring... His clothes were charming, and his scent was very noticeable. He probably uses perfume, which is super cool. Kenny wants to sniff Vampire Butters. Maybe he'll bite him, and he can turn into a vampire too.

Kenny giggles slightly as he replays the idea of Vampire Butters sinking his teeth into him. Then they would both live for eternity... Together.

A bright pink journal lays in front of him on his bed as he sits on his stomach. He hasn't even read the school project yet. His family is home by now, even though he has no idea where they went all day. And also it's midnight rn because I said so. 

Anyways Kenny is kicking his legs and twirling his hair and shi as he writes in the journal. He sketches out edgy drawings of him and Vampire Butters and also lots of blood. Also lots and lots of hearts. 

He spends nearly the whole night writing poems for his newfound love. He's sure that if he reaches deep into his heart, he can find the exact words that will make Vampire Butters also love him. Also he's still wearing that chain necklace thing and yes Vampire Butters did notice this, so he believes that Kenny could have a darker and more vampire side.

Out in the distance a coyote howls or smth and Kenny decides that he should probably sleep. But before that he goes outside and kills the coyote because he thought it was a wolf. And everyone knows it's wolves vs vampires and since Kenny loves a vampire that means he has to kill wolves (duh).

-----

It's the morning now and Kenny is going deep into the woods because he knows that's where the vampires hang out together. Lately there's been a ton more of them so he's hoping that he can also become a vampire.

Vampire Butters is away from the group and he freaks out when he sees Kenny, "Dude what are you doing here?? You can't be in this forest, it's for vampires!" Kenny looks sad, "I know! B-But.... I have something important to tell you........"

Vampire Butters lets him speak, "I r-r-r-really uh uh uh l-l-l-l-l-l-lik-like you!!!!!!!!!!!" He looks at the floor as his face turns completely red. Vampire Butters stands in shock, "Uh I- I- Uhhhhhhhhhh............."

Kenny stops him, "No, let me read my poem first, before you give your answer. Just so I can get it out," Vampire Butters closes his mouth and lets Kenny read the little paper he brought with him, "You can take your blue shirt off, but please keep the white one on. I may forget your name, but never your sound. It's chaos with you, and I find peace in it," He says loudly.

Vampire Butters looks confused and Kenny explains all the deeper meanings of his very meaningful poem, "See it's like the shirts are layers of our innocence, and I'm letting you keep the purest one. And no matter the troubles we will still be able to hold each other up and stay calm," A tear falls from Vampire Butters's eye.

"Omg that was..... so beautiful :((" And then they made out.

"Does this mean I can be a vampire now and live forever with you????" Kenny asks, very excited.

"No, only the head vampire can make other people vampires," Vampire Butters explains.

"Oh."

And then Kenny was heartbroken so he became team wolves and killed all the vampires the end

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