Swim Until You Love Me

Part VII

Don't want no other shade of blue, but you.

No other sadness in the world would do.

Taylor Swift sang through my headphones. It had been a long, difficult night.

Harder since I hadn't really slept the night before.

My anger had just faded to hurt. My heart felt heavy and shattered at the same time. My eyes hurt from crying, my nose was blocked and my pillow was wet.

I couldn't believe I hadn't seen the signs. He was always especially nice to her. He took her on muffin runs, taught her how to drive. Crashed her dance rehearsals, teased her dates.

What a mess.

*****

I trudged into the kitchen half-heartedly. I was only here for some juice.

"Morning Madi," Susannah said. I offered her a weak smile. She walked out to the deck.

Conrad came in just as I was about to leave.

"Damn, what happened? You look like a zombie,"

I shrugged, "Susannah didn't notice anything."

He sighed, "She asked me to ask Belly to the ball."

My stomach churned. "Umm," I said, but my voice came out in a squeak. I cleared my throat. "Ask her then. But I don't think she'll say yes."

He frowned, "Okay I'll ask once I get back from sailing."

*****

"Hey Madi," Steven said, coming into my room.

Shit.

"Umm hey."

He looked at me like he was trying to read my mind.

"Are-" he started to say.

"Madi, are you ready?" Mom cut in.

I breathed an internal sigh of relief. "Umm mom I don't think I'm gonna come today. I feel a bit under the weather. I don't wanna be out in the sun all day," I said.

She frowned, "You do look tired. Did you get enough sleep last night?" I shook my head.

She sighed, "Alright, you can stay at home. Get some sleep, yeah?" I nodded as she and Steven left for the tournament.

*****

I spent the rest of the day moping around. I got bits of sleep, but not enough to feel rested.

I kept circling around to the fact that maybe this was all my fault.

I never told Belly that I was into Jeremiah. I never acted on it. I must've been good at keeping it hidden- because there was no way my sister  would do this on purpose.

She was new to the whole boy drama thing. She would make mistakes. Sometimes, at my cost.

But this really sucked.

What was she doing with Jeremiah anyway? I thought she was into Conrad. And Conrad was into her, I knew that for sure. Jeremiah was completely new in this equation. Or maybe I was too blinded by my own feelings for him to see that he had been there all along.

Should I tell Conrad? Or Steven?

We're into the finals. Where are you? What happened?

Shayla texted me.

I could definitely tell her.

I saw Belly and Jeremiah kiss last night. I texted back.

WHAT