The Nerd✓ (BWWM)

4

Sleep

It's a beautiful thing.
Some use it for peace in a stressful situation. Other sure it for just plain rest. But not everyone can get this beautiful side of closing your eyes and going semi unconscious for 8-10 hours while your organs  functions reduce to have their given speed to reduce stress from said organs and while all this happen your brain conjures up play by play movies staring you, old memories or vision for some.

Some spiritual folks, travel up and beyond, going places only read in or seen in movies. Traveling far out our time and space to see something new and connect with their higher being or self. Be one with the universe. And even find love It's a beautiful thing honestly.

But there's still those unfortunate soul that don't get to experience these joy of going to bed and closing your eyes bring. No. They get nightmare from that one time their own flesh and blood touched them. The time they watch that man jumped, secretly wishing it was them, if they had half the courage he once did. The ones that demon torment and play with in the so called safe place they call their mind. It's not only your mind that keeps you from sleeping. The headache or chest pain that keep you up at nights cause your lover is not next to you.

Watching the love of your life stumble in drunk and reck of cheap perfume. Anxiety that's a illness that can keep you up for days and it soon whispered the promise of insecurities. Like living a nightmare on repeat. And all because you didn't go to sleep when your body told you too. Now you have to live with this knowledge.

Sigh it's a pity because either way you take it, you might never be able to experience one or the other and I think that a bad thing

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"Daniel. Oh Daniel! It so g-ood" she whimpers out of breath. Her cloudy, hooded eyes met mine before rolling back in euphoria

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I'm tired. I feel disoriented. This is not me, I know it's not me. I can feel my priority shifting, this is wrong. This is dangerous.
For a spit second I felt the fear bubbling in the pit of my stomach and flights or fight mood is activated before dying down and disappear into nothingness.

Thinking back I've never felt this feeling before, well I did but that was one time in the ninth grade when a teacher was going through my bag because a kid told that I was extorting other kids including him. I had $1800 worth notes and I couldn't afford to lose it because some kid couldn't keep his mouth closed. As soon as the teacher opened the back I broke out in cold sweat but I kept my composure, refusing from tapping my foot and let her see the shakiness of my hands as she searched. Emptying my bag on her desk and discarding my bag like a used condoms, I felt at easy. I didn't have to stress anymore or fear that her slim fingers where going to accidentally bush up on the not so prefect sowing that held the secret compartment for my clients notes.

But this time the feeling was stronger. I could say it almost scared me. And it all started when she got on the bus and sat besides me. When her sweet fragrance of apple cinnamon pie drift in my nose and settle in my lungs. Dear God. The way the warmth of her body radiated of her was like flame calling to a moth. I knew it was wrong, I know I shouldn't have been drawn in because as soon as I get too close I will get burned.

The sound of the bell ringing pulled me from my hazed thoughts and back to reality. "Please class remember to read up on human autonomy, a test will be give next week as well so read up guys" the professor yelled as student rush out into the hall. It's lunch time, time for human spices to feed and socialize. Gathering my belongings and organizing them in my bag. I got up and exit the class. I usually would go to the side of the campus to eat under the large oak trees that had a view of the football tree. It was peaceful. But today I had a strong feeling that I need to head to the cafeteria, so I did. My gut never lead me a stray so I highly doubt it would start now.