Outside in the rain.
Spencer
The thunder around me was loud. Very loud. The sky lit up with lightning as rain was pouring down. I was completely soaked at this point.
Just standing in the rain, no idea why, well... I do, but... It feels very calming. My mind was just blank. I think I needed it for a little while.
The rain was harsh and cold, it dripped all along my body until it reached the ground. I feel heavy, but in a good way. I'm comfortable.
I took a deep sigh of pure contentment, my arms holding onto my shoulders, letting my head fall back while the rain hits my face.
"Spencer?!" I hear a slight shout. I fluttered my eyes open, following the sound.
Ethan, probably confused as to what in the world I'm doing. Probably thinking I'm a little crazy right now.
"Yeah?" I called back, not really moving from my position.
"Uh.. what're you doing? It's pouring pretty bad out here." He shouted back.
"I know. It's comforting." I replied.
"Oh... okay then!" Was all he said before I heard the door shut. I just closed my eyes and went back to my soaking bliss.
I missed the rain. It doesn't rain often. I mean, I would always hear it, but I'd never see it. I'd never feel it. I didn't think I could miss a storm, but boy, did I ever.
I then heard splashing footsteps getting closer and a small smile was brought to my face.
"It's so cold, you're insane!" Ethans teeth shuddered as he said this, his hands immediately rubbing my shoulders as he stood behind me.
"I may be insane, but I'm comfortable." I chuckled.
Ethan's hands slowly worked into my shoulders, then slid down my arms as he placed his chin on my right shoulder, holding me close.
My small smile then grew just a little bigger, resting my head against his.
Ethan made me feel a way I couldn't explain.
I don't think I'll ever feel 100% myself again in my life again. That is, unless I'm with him. He is my security. He is my comfort.
Maybe that's unhealthy, I don't know. I really don't. All I know is I feel contentment.
Pure contentment.
I didn't think I could feel anything like that ever again. I didn't think I could be calm. But he brought it out in me.
I'm not saying I'm in total utter peace and bliss. That will probably never come. But I felt like I had some. That's what mattered. I wasn't truly miserable.
Therapy has helped a lot, sure. But Ethan helped more.
"I think I'm ready to go back to school." I said, speaking over the rain.
"Oh-... really, what changed your mind?" Ethan questioned, lifting his head, still holding onto me.
"I don't know. I just think it would be good for me. Seeing old friends, getting new knowledge... being around people." I softly shrugged, laying the back of my head against his shoulder, eyes still closed.
Ethan had leaned down and pressed a slight kiss on my forehead, immediately making me grin.
"Well I can't wait to see you there." He whispered, standing back behind me, holding me tightly.
We stood in absolute silence for awhile it felt before we heard our voices again.
I needed to tell him.
