7. Too Much Anxiety

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     Mirrors and I are old enemies

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Mirrors and I are old enemies. I've never enjoyed what they projected back. The person frowning at me through the glass seems to be having serious doubts. Especially while Jesse straightens my hair with a flatiron. Every once in a while she will snaggy my chunky glasses. 

"Hold still." She gritted her teeth while brushing my hair harshly. 

"I'm trying not to lose any hair." My hand instantly shot at a place where she pulled a little too hard. I gritted my teeth harshly. My eyes beginning to sting. She has no idea how tender-headed I really am. Shows that she never actually pays attention. 

     "Sorry." She mumbled while placing the wood brush on the counter. She sounded out of breath from attempting to tame my wavy thick hair. 

     "How do I look?" I ask as soon as we left the bathroom. Though I honestly don't care how I look. Meeting a stranger doesn't really make me queasy with frazzled nerves. 

     Jesse turned around to eye me up and down. Finding everything wrong and everything right. Her honey-colored eyes squinted as they landed on my face. I gently play with the sleeve of my sweater.  

     "Too bad I left that white top in London." She said after a few moments. Clearly disappointed with my choice of fashion. 

     I glanced down at my appearance. I don't see the big problem. 

     A thick green sweater covers my shoulders. I'm wearing a nice pair of black jeans that are just on the baggy side. I seem like a regular American. Maybe that's a good thing. Why can't she see that I look completely fine? I don't think this stranger is really going to care either way. 

"You still haven't told me the full story," I said while sitting on the edge of the hotel bed. I play with the homemade patch on my knee. 

My sister sighed deeply. Already aware of my lack of information. I can see that she wanted to tell me but knows it will end up hurting me. That thought only makes me want to puke. 

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to you. Just make sure you don't look at the journal before you speak with him. I'm sure he will answer every question you have Jake." Again she sounded weirder than before.

Wouldn't that journal help me in all of this? She really needs to get a grip on herself. 

     "Alright, Jess," I said and took a seat next to her. My head snuck onto her shoulder. My tired eyes closed. I feel somewhat at peace. And yet that uncomfortable nagging in my chest won't ease.

     "We should get you there," Jesse spoke after a moment of silence.

     A groan left my lips. I didn't want this to end. Why does it feel like something is really going to change?

"I'm not going to like this am I?"

Her look was answer enough. I really don't like this secret she continues to keep. 

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