friend

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This one I wrote yesterday so it is kinda a draft?

Hey, friend,
Please
Don’t cry.
I’m here,
I’m there for you

please,
Don’t be sad
I will hold you,
I will stand beside you,
I will shield you
I will listen.

Doing
What you were supposed to do
But did not.

Always expecting something,
Taking,
and taking
but never
not even once
Giving.

In times i needed you the most
You seemed to forget
All those pretty,
Sweet  and shiny promises
You sold me
seemed to forget your role
And it’s burdens
in my life
Till those very times I faced
came to you.
Only popping up when having problems
Suddenly being oh, so sorry
For everything
Having a pile of excuses over excuses
abruptly everything your surroundings fault

All these horrible decisions of yours
All these things
You
Did
Not
All those signs you chose to ignore
Within a snap of your finger
An I’m sorry
Undone
Just gone.

The pain i felt,
My misery
And all you say is
I'm sorry?
Three words at most
just some noises coming out in a second
To excuse pain
Bitter
Bitter
Pain
And
Scars,
Marking
My
mind
F
O
R
E
V
E
R

You see,
You changed me
My point of view
My , now not existant,believes
Fucking engraved your shitty existence
In my once fine being.

I sometimes wonder
If I’d been better off without you.
If the good times with you
Overweigh the damage you did to me,
Your own very friend

The worst is
I knew
I FUCKING KNEW THE SHIT YOU DID BEHIND MY BACK

Are you aware that the pain
causing you to end up crying in my arms
Is the very same pain you inflict upon me ?

I know
that maybe one day we I will separate ways
with you
forget the name
of you
but well
do you know what will never go,
no matter how much I want it to?
your dirty handprints in form of
doubts,
Paranoia
Disappointment
and lack of trust
all over me

I sometimes wonder
who’s more pathetic,
You and your obvious lies
Or me for still staying.

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