𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

3

dylan hayes 

I stand in the back off the shop, cutting the stems off the new shipment of flowers, ready for them to be displayed.

No matter how much I try to move on from it, my mind cannot stop replaying my conversation with Elliot this morning. The sound of his voice, the way his eyes traced my body, his relaxed demeanour.

He has this silent confidence that he just radiates. It's slightly intimidating. Elliot's the type of person that doesn't need to tell you he's confident and secure, he just is and it's clear in the way he acts, talks and holds himself.

And the way he treats his sister is the cutest thing ever. It's clear that she adores him and their relationships is adorable. I think my heart melted a little when he picked her up and carried her on his shoulders.

I can tell that he likes to keep things to himself, all I know is that he didn't go to college and that he went to a public high school. He briefly mentioned his parents and obviously I know he has a sister but other than that, nothing. I only just managed to get his first name.

Not that I have the right to know more, I only met him yesterday but for someone weird reason I find myself wanting to know more. It's a foreign feeling and I don't know if it's good or bad.

I don't have any friends. I know it sounds bad and honestly it is. In middle school I hung out with a group of girls but never really clicked with any of them apart from one, and they always left me out anyway. When it got to high school, I didn't like anyone there. Every student was the same stuck up and entitled rich kid and all I wanted was to get high school over and done with.

For the most part I've been fine alone. Birthdays have always been the worst though, having parents that don't even remember, no living relatives that actually gave a shit about my existence and only one friend (although an amazing friend) means that I've spent many of my birthdays alone in my room with no cards, no presents and nobody else there to wish me a 'happy birthday'.

I cried every single year and I don't know why, I should've been used to it and I don't know what I expected. It never made it hurt any less though and it never stopped the hope from building the days before that for the first time someone would remember.

No one ever did except her.

I'm over it now that I'm in my twenties, over time I've just gotten so used to it that I don't even acknowledge my birthday anymore. Last year I forgot completely.

I have work friends, people I talk to out of convenience and have the occasional talk with a lady at a coffee shop but nothing more.

It's something else that I've come to accept, I'm just not the type of person people want to be friends with anymore and that's okay. I like to tell myself it's for the better. I can't get hurt if no one's there to hurt me and I can't hurt anyone if there's no one there to hurt. Boom, I'm one less person causing pain in this world.

What I lack in friendship I make up for in other departments though. I find other ways to connect with people, even if it's just for a few minutes. I've survived off of those scraps of companionship for long enough for it to feel like enough.

But just because it feels like enough doesn't mean it is. Hence my new dog Poppy.

I never used to be this alone. There was a time where I had someone in my corner looking out for me, but she's not around anymore and never will be again. The thought makes my heart sink and a pit of to dread fall in my stomach.

"Dylan?" The sound of my boss's voice snaps me out of my thoughts, "I'm going on break, do you mind going out front for a bit?"

"Yeah." I reply and she nods thankfully, walking out of the room.

I place the flowers I'm yet to cut on the side so I can come back and do them later before making my way to the cash register.

A few minutes later a very pretty black woman comes up to the desk with a bouquet of pink and white flowers. She has brown coloured braids in her hair and the most gorgeous brown eyes I've ever seen.

Maybe she could be a friend.

"You have really pretty eyes." I compliment as I ring up her order.

"Thank you so much, so do you." The woman smiles in return.

After she hands me the cash, I pass over her flowers only to see a familiar looking figure walking up to her. Elliot's blonde friend, the one that was sleeping at the beach.

These three are just everywhere I turn aren't they?

"Hey babe." He greets the woman, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her forehead.

His eyes find their way over to mine and a flicker of surprise crosses his face. Blondie studies me for a moment before frowning and then looking as if he's shrugging it off.

Him and the woman leave and I wish them both a 'good day' as they walk out of the shop.

Through the window I watch as he says something to her and her turning her head to look at me before they leave my view.

Well then.

Shaking off the slightly strange interaction, the rest of my shift goes normally until closing time.

I close up the shop, say a goodbye to my boss before starting to make my way home. For some reason I chose to walk to work today and now I am regretting it.

Out of the corner of my eye I spot a car pull up to where I'm stood and before I can even start to speed up a voice catches my attention.

"Need a ride?"

Smooth and deep with a slight rasp to it. It's the only voice I'd ever recognise in a crowd and it just so happens to belong to Elliot.

"Are you stalking me?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"What would you do if I was?" Elliot cocks his head to the side, one hand still resting on the steering wheel as he talks.

"Probably run." I twist a piece of hair and around my finger as I talk, a nervous habit of mine.

"Are you going to run then or get in?"

I give him a 'really' look for that comment.

"I don't have all day sunshine. What's it gonna be?"

Rolling my eyes, I open the car door and climb in the passenger seat.

"That wasn't so hard now was it."

"Drive." I mutter and he laughs.

I take the chance to look around his car, hoping to find out a bit about him as person. The inside of his car is very clean, no trash in sight and the radio is humming quietly in the background. I spot a little air freshener hanging and I look over at his side profile.

He's so perfect, I feel like he's not real.

It's then my eyes catch sight of his hands. Elliot drives a manual and it's fucking addictive to watch. So addictive actually, that I almost forget to tell him where to go.

"It's left down here and then the first right turn." I explain quickly and he nods, following my directions.

When we stop in front of my house I climb out of the car and speak to him through the window.

"Thanks for driving me, I really wasn't in the mood to walk home. I'll see you around?" I thank, stepping away from the car.

"See you around sunshine." Elliot replies with a smile and before he can drive off I stop him again.

"Sunshine, really?"

"You're blonde." He shrugs and I roll my eyes.

I turn around and walk up to the front door, listening to his car drive away with small smile on my face.

☼☼☼