my best friends brother

30 ... angels

my best
friends brother
30

blair

"Hi mom," I smile softly down at her grave, bending to my knees to wipe away the leaves and dead flowers. The ones in my hands were fresh and smelt good, reminding me of her. Taking a few from the wrap, I place them around her stone not before placing a kiss on each flower. Lilies and Roses were her favorites.

"We got your favorites. These were the last lilies and dad made sure to rush and get them. You should've seen him run," I laugh lightly, flopping down in the grass. I save the rest of the flowers, putting them aside.

"What's going on up there today?" My voice was so small and fragile, that I thought I would break. I stare at her gravestone, tracing the craved letters of her name.

"Jax mess with one of the angels' wings?" I chuckle at the thought of my hyperactive little brother. He had the biggest energy in the family I've ever seen. Nothing could stop him. He was a good kid, always ready to play and mess something up. I remember the countless times I've yelled at him for messing up my room.

How I miss coming home to a messy room and my baby brother running out of it a giggly mess. I smile at the memory and look over at his gravestone. My lip quivers as I place the rest of the flowers on his stone, wiping the rusty leaves off as I did for mom. "Jax..." I strain my baby brother's name. "You're supposed to be in my room right now destroying everything I own, not here."

"You're supposed to be playing in moms arms as she struggles to get you ready to pick up dad from work so we all can go down to our favorite place to have take-out dinner. I should be in my room hearing you guys laugh from down the hall as mom threatens you no dessert."

My tears fall like rain onto the last remaining flower in my grasp. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and imagine my mom over my shoulder telling me it's ok.

I knew I would be okay because I had dad, but life just didn't feel the same without them. The day we came home from their funeral, I watched my dad stand in the middle of the living room as his lost eyes wandered around the house before they landed and stopped at the top of the stairs. His eyes got glossier and glossier and I knew he was waiting for Jax to scream his name and run down into his arms welcoming him home.

He'd turned his head to look at the far dark kitchen, imagining mom wiping her hands off as she came from the hot kitchen to greet him with love and affection.

Then reality hit him and he fell knees first on the ground, hugging his arms to his chest and rasping out the biggest cry I've ever heard come from my dad. It scared me. But I felt his pain.

But nothing and I mean nothing will ever scare me than the day it all happened. The day I was called into the office at school. I was in the middle of shutting Aiden and Matteo up before they jumped at each other's throats. My heart slightly dropped when the phone suddenly rang. I didn't know why the feeling made me feel nauseous. Aiden was the first to notice my change in mood and while both my then-boyfriend and best friend's brother fought over my well-being, my mind went blank and I couldn't hear a single thing.

Then my name was called and the concerned look on my teacher's face told me that my feeling wasn't just a random feeling. She stood up and told me to just leave everything and head straight for the office.