Cornelia was lying on the hotel floor. Trying to process what has happened and what will happen tomorrow..today. It was already morning, but she couldn't get herself to sleep. How could she? She was scared that she was not going to see her in her dreams, so she decided not to dream at all. Moments were spinning in her head, and she was trying her best not to lose her mind in the process. Her thoughts were louder than ever, ever since the moment she kissed her in Turin. She could still remember how it all happened, although she tried so hard to diminish every reminder of that fateful night. She was drunk. Of course, she was drunk! She had won 4th place in a competition! She was celebrating. And still, to this day, it boggled her mind how she could do something as stupid as she did. She was ready to blame it all on the alcohol, but maybe it really was fate. Why did she choose her? Why did she feel the need to kiss her? Cornelia will never know. All she knew was that such an accident changed the trajectory of her life forever. She fell in love. It happened slowly but yet so fast. It took her one kiss, which hadn't left her mind ever since. Spring had left, but the love she felt for her stayed... Ever since that night, Cornelia has been quite sure that she wouldn't find anyone as perfect and that she would never be able to kiss anyone else. She longed for her lips, even though she could barely remember how they felt on hers. This feeling made Cornelia devastated, made her question the reason behind her overdrinking that night. Why had she gotten so drunk that she couldn't even remember how such a deep love began?
...
Cornelia woke up on the same cold floor she had fallen asleep on. She did fall asleep after all. She had gotten less than four hours of sleep, but she couldn't care less. Her team was most likely still asleep, so she didn't bother them. She was going to meet Ana in three hours. Both fear and the butterflies inside of her made a perfect harmony, which resulted in Cornelia gaining her long awaited joy. She felt love and didn't blame herself for it. At least not today. Today she was genuinely happy.
After getting ready, she decided to contact her. What if she had forgotten the meeting? What if she was busy and couldn't go through with it anymore? Cornelia realised that she wasn't thinking clearly and that all those reasons were coming from her own delusional and desperate mind. She decided to stay calm and meet her at the place they had decided on yesterday. After all, she didn't even have her number; she couldn't even contact her properly.
The place that Ana had suggested was a peaceful restaurant, which, to be completely honest, looked more like a bar. Blue and purple lights made the atmosphere aesthetically pleasing and cozy. Cornelia was glad that the restaurant wasn't as fancy since she didn't really dress up for a fancier occasion. A stylish white top and white jeans fit the place like nothing else would.
When Cornelia arrived, Ana was already there. Straight away, Cornelia felt bad for being late, even if she was too early. At that moment, she found Ana talking to some people. She probably knew this place and its people well, Cornelia thought. For a moment, Cornelia stopped and admired the way she talked, listened, and laughed. She admired her ability to be poised and elegant one moment and chaotic and overdramatic the next... Just like Cornelia, Ana had chosen a white outfit. Cornelia wasn't surprised. She loved seeing her in white. Deep inside, Cornelia knew that this exact reason made her choose a white outfit too.
After a moment of staring, Cornelia was finally able to approach her. When Ana saw her, Cornelia noticed the same smile she had witnessed yesterday. It didn't take long for Ana to come closer and greet her. Cornelia got yet another hug to add to her collection. This time the hug was warm, and she could feel that Ana was happy to see her. "I didn't get lost; it's a first for me." Cornelia began the conversation by joking. Weirdly enough, the joke worked, and Ana did laugh. "Well, you know, that's why I chose a place in an obvious area." This time, both of them laughed.
They ordered a bottle of champagne and snacks since neither of them was hungry. Cornelia didn't drink...They began their conversation by mentioning their daily lives and how they had changed since the last time they saw each other. Cornelia loved listening to her. Such simple topics, yet she was so fascinated by her every word and every sentence. She loved how intelligent and understanding she was while listening to Cornelia, even if her themes and words were nowhere close to being as interesting as Ana's. "Are you staying here longer or did you come here just for the concert?" At some point, Ana asked. It felt like her blue eyes were staring right into Cornelia's soul. Cornelia couldn't take her own eyes off of her. At that moment, she was reminded of how deeply in love she was. It actually hurt. "Um, I am leaving tomorrow. I have another show in Sweden in two days, and after that I'll rest for a bit and then probably release new music". Cornelia knew she had given way too much information, but she enjoyed seeing Ana attentively listening to her regardless. "Hm, I was planning to go to Sweden with my family at the end of the summer. I don't know if it's going to work out, but if it will, I would like to ask you to recommend... you know, some places." Cornelia's heart gave up on her once again. Even the idea of having another chance to see her again was enough for her. "Sure! I'd love to! There are so many places you would love! " Ana smiled.
Cornelia eventually decided to have a glass of champagne and not leave Ana drinking alone. A glass turned into two, then into three...Cornelia felt more at ease in her company. "I've thought about you a lot since Eurovision." Ana's blue eyes widened as she got interested in such a sudden change of topic. "Oh really?" Cornelia finally comprehended what she had said, but there was no turning back and she had to somehow get out of this situation. "Yea, I mean, your performance was amazing. You are so creative, it was hard to forget." Ana smiled, silently mouthing "thank you." "You know, I was thinking of you too. Your performance was amazing as well... Yeah." They both laughed, and suddenly the whole atmosphere changed again. At that point, they were both clearly tipsy and unable to hold any kind of deep or intelligent conversation. Cornelia appreciated this moment. Seeing her so happy. The restaurant's lighting made her look even more striking. Her joy was infectious, and every time Ana laughed, Cornelia had to laugh too.
Evening came, and it was a time to eventually say goodbye. Ana asked the waiter for the bill and when Cornelia saw that Ana was about to pay for both of them, she had to stop her. This little word argument turned into a fun little fight, and Cornelia didn't even notice how suddenly she touched Ana's hand. She panicked, but at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to move her hand away from hers. A moment turned into a minute. It was too late for her to call it an accident, so she slowly but assuringly ran her fingers through Ana's hand. Ana didn't say anything, but the silence was louder than the loudest scream. Suddenly, Ana moved her hand away. "I am paying." Cornelia didn't argue, just nodded in agreement. She was trying to process what had just happened, while, at the same time, suppressing the urge to take her hand again.
When they left the restaurant, Cornelia was surprised at how light it was outside. She once again was reminded of the hatred she had for summer... While Cornelia's taxi was already waiting, she was still standing there with her, waiting for her husband to come and pick her up. Cornelia suddenly felt cold. "Aren't you cold?" She asked Ana, but she just laughed it off. "No. It's summer. It's too hot even. Are you cold?" Cornelia knew that the weather had nothing to do with the coldness that she felt; it came from the inside, and nothing could have helped her to feel better. On the contrary, Cornelia loved how, even though Ana was tipsy, she managed to be caring. "No. I'm good. "
Minutes later, Ana's husband arrived, and their meeting was over. The husband greeted Cornelia, but she couldn't even pretend to care. Before leaving, Ana hugged Cornelia yet again. "It was a nice evening, thank you." The hug went on. For a moment, Cornelia stopped her breathing and hugged her tighter. "Let me know if you decide to visit Sweden." She was so close to Ana that she could already feel her breathing and yet she hugged her even tighter while also absorbing her scent. "Oh yeah, yeah, I definitely will." They laughed. Before letting go of the hug, Ana's hands ran through Cornelia's waist until the hug was over. It reminded her of their first hug in Turin...
After she left, Cornelia got into the taxi and let her thoughts overwhelm her once again. She was not sure of what had happened today, but she knew that a very long and miserable summer awaited her. Until they meet again...
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We loved with a Love that was more than Love
Fanfiction"And suddenly she realised how much she had missed her, although, it wasn't sudden at all, it seemed like everything she did led her to this moment."
