Eventide ~ a spicy noodles fanfic

Chapter 7. Shame

A lightning strike lit up Red sons room as thunder loud enough to shake the whole structure erupts like an angry volcano. Red son leaped upwards from his covers as his eyes shot open. He panted and sweated uncontrollably. It was another nightmare.

In the dream, his mother was punishing him for his failures. She seemed like a demonic shadowy being, larger than any skyscraper echoing down to him below as he seemed like an ant compared to her overwhelming presence. Despite her horrific appearance in the dream, she only said "I love you." Over and over while hitting him with such force it felt real.

Red son pushed his messy hair out of his face,  caught his shaky breath and calmed his raging heartbeat. As he calmed, he stared out his window into the black and grey night sky that had rain and wind raging.

Red son felt ashamed.

He feared his own mother. The one thing that gave him life. He loved her so, yet feared her in that moment. He keeps trying to convince himself that it was in the name of love as she convinced him multiple times. The vision of his mother faded from his brain as he begged to think of something else.

He sat on his bed, face in his knees, as his shaky breath and heartbeat started again, but why? The only other thing he could think about was his "friendship" with the noodle boy. He tossed and turned to try and think about something, anything else but his fake friendship and a strange feeling kept coming up.

What was this feeling? Why did it hurt so much? He kept picturing his patient smile and his gratitude and felt shame once more. He couldn't understand why he felt as such. Was it because he was failing his mission? Could it be fear? Did he fear the consequences of failing? That must've been it.

Even with that conclusion, the shame didn't end. Fear for failure? The consequences would be a chat or beating by his mother which happened so frequently. Why did he fear it? It's his mother. A normal son would never fear his mother.

He began to think. Could he be abnormal?

This was how normal parenting was, right? This was how a normal mother would treat her son, right? If that was true, why did he fear her so?

He shook his head. "No. I'm being weak. I shouldn't fear something normal. I shouldn't fear anything. Fear is weakness." He whispered.

The sun began to rise and he slowly climbed out of bed to prepare his terrible plan once more and pretend to be the weak noodle boys friend once more.

He suddenly thought about Mk's patient smile And felt anger.

"HE'S abnormal. Normal people aren't kind. No one will ever treat you with respect. It's how the world works." He practically yelled.

Even after expressing anger towards his kindness, he couldn't get his image out of his head.

As he rushed out of the castle into the cool morning air as the storm faded away completely, he took a long breath and gave up trying not to think about him.

Suddenly, the feeling of shame was gone.