diet mountain dew; chanlix

11

felixs pov;

i sit there, looking straight ahead. the photoshoot had just finished and everyone is packing away. "you've been doing alot better, im glad you're finally over that man " my manager sits down next to me, handing me a bottle of water.

i take a sip of the water "thankyou min, i think im finally over chan " i smile and have another sip of water. me and seungmin continue to talk about our own life's, seungmin talking about his last date with hyunjin.

"what are you planning to do for the rest of the day ? " seungmin questions while taking my now finished bottle of water, at the back of my mind this scene feels familiar as if ive done this before.

"not sure, probably gonna go on a walk and then watch youtube when i get home " seungmin gives me a disapproving look, a look he gives my quite often so it's not as worrying that i feel like im reliving anything.

"you know you shouldn't go out on walks alone, think of how dangerous it'll be if someone recognises you ??! " i lean my head back, hearing this one times too many. "felix you are much more famous than you were a year ago, you can't be careless anymore "

i put my black face mask, chanel sunglasses and a black bucket hat, something i still carry around for times like this when nonody is able to drive me. "see look nobody will know its me " seungmin sighs.

"fine but the second something goes wrong call me ok ? " i nod and get my long leather jacket on. it may be sunny but it doesn't mean it isn't freezing. i get my headphones and put them around my neck before leaving the set, as i walk through the building i thank the staff. once i leave i put on the headphones.

i put my playlist on. as i walk down the crowded streets of seoul with the sun hitting my back and the wind threatening to blow my hat off, lana del rey plays at full volume, blocking out everything around me.

while walking i find myself get to a park. the wind getting a little colder and now im starting to regret not putting on another layer, the late autumn weather isn't helping. i take my phone out and change the song, while doing so i walk straight into someone. "the fucks your problem "

i don't hear him, i turn off my head phones and try to cover my shock. the angry man none other than my sad excuse of an ex, christopher bang. "sorry " i keep my voice monotone and try get back on my walk.

"felix " his voice softens, instantly opening his arms to hug, i step back. "felix please, ive missed you so much " i hear the cracks in his voice, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"i have to go home " i walk past him, texting my groupchat with seungmin, hyunjin and minho. i put my phone back into my pocket and try pick up the pace. sadly i don't get far when i feel chans larger hand hold onto mine, the way our hands fit together.

"felix please, can i come over i need to talk to you " he says softly, trying not to make a scene. i slowly agree, he doesn't let go of my hand.

"though i have nothing left you can steal " i feel chans hand tighten for a second. we walk in silence, the busy streets filling the space. getting to the familiar building, chan almost hesitates to walk into.

we take the stairs, i walk slightly infront of chan. our heavy footsteps are the only thing heard in the empty room of stairs. getting to my floor we walk to the front door. "felix i " i ignore him and unlock the door, waiting for the older to enter.

we get in and settle down in my living room, chan notices the dead roses and gulps. "out of everything you stole the only thing i want back is my heart " i try keep my voice monotone and strong, not letting him pick up on any weakness.

"felix, i " he repeats. "i didn't want to do this but it was an opportunity and, and i regret it " he instantly starts wiping tears away. "ive never missed someone as much as i missed you, you are just so perfect and i realised i can't live without you "

"stop talking " my voice remains low, my eyes stuck to the group by his feet. "dont fucking lie to me christopher bang " i feel my voice get shakey.

"i- felix i would never lie to you " he holds his hands out, trying to hold me. "felix please i can't live without you, i am meant for you and you for me. being without you made me realise i can't ever leave your side " i bite my lip, trying to stop a small smile from forming.

even if the man infront of me has hurt me in multiple ways i can't bring myself to hate him, the way his words come from his mouth makes my heart beat in ways it probably shouldn't. "you don't understand how many nights i cried, how many nights i begged the world to bring you back to me. i didn't leave my room for weeks and had to get my friends to help, even when i was doing shoots my mind was filled with the image of you " i blink away a tear. "im scared that being with you again will lead to a worse pain than what ive just been through "

i give in, letting chan hold onto me. i stand between his legs, his head rests on my stomach and arms around my upper thighs. "we can talk about, go through what we need to do to get through it " i let my tears flow. "felix, losing you was my greatest mistake and i don't ever want that again. i know its asking for alot but please, please take me back "

"i don't think i can take you back right now but we can start again, work our way back to boyfriends " i brush my hand through the slight curls, he fully sinks into me and i finally let out the small smile.
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edit !again not much change (the only difference is there's one extra chapter )