The Pic ✓

I was completely asleep when my phone buzzed. Groaning, I rolled over and grabbed it off of my bedside table, seeing that it was from my best friend, Chris. Swiping my phone open, I yell out in shock. "What the fuck?" There, on my phone screen and forever burned into my brain, was his penis.

My phone starts ringing and I don't even have to look to know who it is. "What the fuck man?" I ask when I answer.

"Obviously that wasn't meant for you." He says, annoyed by my outburst.

"God, I would hope not. It's not a bad shot, I just didn't expect it." I joke.

"Oh my god! You're the absolute worse."

"I'm just preparing you for what the internet is going to say if you get hacked."

"I don't have to worry about you doing anything about that, do I?"

I roll my eyes, not that he can see it. "Besides getting off to it, no. I'm not that big of an asshole, and I'm always in your corner Chris."

"How can you go from perverted frat boy to sweet best friend so quickly?"

"It's a gift." I say sarcastically. "Do I want to know who this was for, originally?"

"Probably not, no..."

"So you're still talking to that basket case?"

"Well I was. But now I'm talking to you."

"Oh please tell me she didn't send you something first." I beg in disgust.

"No. I was supposed to send first."

"Dumbass." I laugh at him. "You should be glad you sent it to me. At least you know you can trust me."

"Do I?" He jokes.

"Yes asshole." I reply with a roll of my eyes. "I've been your best friend for years. And that title isn't up for debate. The boys can suck it."

He chuckles. "Yes dear."

"You can take your patronizing ways and leave. If you can find my sweet best friend on the way out, send him in."

"With you I'm always sweet."

"Do you kiss your mother with those liar lips?"

"Yep and then I sleep like a baby."

"If this whole actor thing goes south, you should consider a future in comedy." I deadpan.

"Will you marry me?" He asks. I go quiet, stunned, for several minutes.

"I'm sorry. What?!" I ask when I finally find my voice.

"Just looking for something to keep you quiet for a few minutes."

"Next time try telling me to just shut up then." I laugh. "Are you ok now?"

"Still a little embarrassed but better. Talking to you always makes me feel better."

"Well I'm glad I could help. I'm always here for you. You know that."

"I know. Thanks Arty."

"God, I wish you would forget that nickname though. You had to call me a name that sounds like I'm so annoying little boy that followed you and your friends around like a lost puppy."

"Artemis, you were the annoying little kid that followed us around."

"Ha ha. Bye asshole."

"Night Artemis." He says before hanging up. I sigh, staring at the ceiling, contemplating my next move. I throw the covers off of me, deciding to throw caution to the wind and do it.

I head into my bathroom, discarding the oversized concert tee I swiped from Chris and leaving it on the floor. I leave my short sleep shorts on and pose in front of my mirror. Once I was satisfied with the picture I open my text chain with Chris, sending the picture to him.

Me:
There, now we're even. Do with this what you will