The Crown's Reflection

Chapter Ten: Straight out of a Romance Novel

"i forgive you...

for treating me the way you felt about yourself." 

-butterflies rising 

Elsea woke to the sound of rain. 

It rained quite often, and every time, she thought about her first morning in Raveene. Now, she just lay underneath her blankets, listening to the constant thrum of raindrops hitting the roof. Elsea shut her eyes, as if she could shut out the memories too. 

" I've never actually seen you smile before."  he had said.

Elsea wished she could forget his grin, the way a dimple appeared in his left cheek. 

"Great forests," The saying was something commonly said in Asteria, but not in Raveene. Elsea hauled herself out of bed and got dressed, trying to focus on something, anything else. She remembered to shift her sword so it was under her cloak, and left her hair down. Elsea wrapped a dark blue scarf around her neck, and put her coin pouch and book in her cloak pocket. 

She had a late shift today, and Elsea was planning to spend her free time wandering around Raveene. Elsea went to a nearby coffee place, wrapping her cold fingers around the mug to warm them. The coffee tasted like ash in her mouth compared to the coffee place back home. Elsea ignored the fact that she called the other side of Raveene her home, dumping out the coffee before leaving. 

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A single tear fell, hitting the last sentence of the book he had recommended. Reading the book had made her imagine that a piece of him was still with her, and now that it was over, she was distraught. The ending had left on a sad, yet hopeful note that felt open-ended and lacking in satisfaction. She closed it, and resumed shelving books, not wanting to be caught reading on the job again. After a while, when Elsea was bordering on sighing again, she heard someone clear their throat. 

"Is this your friend Ellie?"  Elsea looked up to see Asher, -another librarian- gesturing to her, before impatiently leaving. Elsea glanced around in confusion, momentarily wondering who would call her friend. Hadley wants more book recommendations, she thought after a pause. Though it was a bit of a stretch to call them friends already. 

"I don't think I have anymore book recommendations, Hadley." Elsea said lightly, "You've probably read the entire romance section by now." She forced a laugh, not really feeling in the mood. Just when Elsea was beginning to question if she was talking to herself, he stepped out from behind a shelf. She couldn't comprehend what was happening fast enough, and all Elsea could do was stare in shock. After everything that had happened, he was back. It took her a second to remember what the everything was. 

"Everett." Elsea said stiffly and quietly. She didn't know what to do, or why her heart soared at the sight of him. Everett was supposed to be gone, out of her life forever. Elsea couldn't decide what she felt. Happy? Angry? Relieved?

Everett took a step towards her, his mouth parting. He looked at her as if he wasn't sure if she was real or not. Elsea's thoughts finally emptied until only one thing was clear. Everything aside, she was happy  to see him. A smile started to steal her face as she said, 

"What are you doing here?" 

Everett also seemed to be on the verge of smiling when he remembered something. "Why in the devil's name did you leave?"  Everett demanded, his face suddenly so furious Elsea flinched. "How do you think it felt to wake up realising that you left with only a note of goodbye?" Everett was out of control, no sign of his normally put-together self. Everett shakily raked a hand though his hair, and Elsea saw his face crumble. "I missed you." He whispered.

"I missed you too." Elsea said gently, watching him visibly relax. "But you're better off without me, Ever. You can be with your family, without having a burden." The nickname rolled off of her tongue easily, surprising her. 

"Burden?"Ever was incredulous. "I may have wanted money at first, but do you honestly think that nothing has changed? Haven't you ever had a... a friend?"

Elsea responded with a pregnant silence . 

There were many words left unsaid, but all Ever did was exhale and say, "We'll talk over coffee," As they left, Hadley stared openmouthed at them, mouthing, "Straight out of a romance novel" at Elsea with her eyebrows high. Apparently she'd been eavesdropping for the entire conversation.

Walking out of the library next to Ever was like coming home, and Elsea instantly felt relaxed. Now that she mulled it over, Elsea realised how familiar he was to her, even after only a few weeks.  She could pick out his familiar yet unique gait in a busy crowd. Order his breakfast the particular way he liked it. Elsea even knew he sometimes talked in his sleep, a muttering mess of words that didn't make sense to anybody but him. It couldn't have all been false, she thought. And by the looks of it, Ever seemed to confirm the thought. But Elsea didn't want to get her hopes up, either. 

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 "How did you find me?" Elsea said as they sat down, trying to delay the inevitable. 

"Oh, I don't know." Ever said sarcastically, "It was quite hard to find someone with white hair and mismatched eyes who went by the name Ellie. The only reason it took two weeks to find you  was because I woke up late, and I had no idea where you went. Which turns out to be the other side of Raveene."  His fists were bunched, the tense lines of his body indicating just how angry he was. 

But anger meant that he cared. 

"I'm sorry." Elsea murmured.

"Don't be sorry." Ever said quickly, cutting her off before she could continue. "Just...don't leave like that again." 

"I didn't leave because I...didn't enjoy your company. I left because without me," Ever flinched at the phrase, "You could move on with your life, and dedicate your time to be with your family. I didn't mean to hurt you, Ever. I thought that once I gave you the money, you'd be gone. It was only the matter of who left first." 

"Ellie." Ever threw his hands up. "Elsea. I'm going to ask the question again. Have you ever had a friend before me?"

A beat of silence. "No." Elsea hated how her voice wavered, and how lonely she sounded. She'd never had a real friend. Elsea used to pretend that Audra was her friend, until it sunk in that she was only her maid, paid to dress and be friendly to her.

The harsh lessons of palace life -especially cruel to the invisible spare- had been repeatedly etched into her for her whole life.  No one was truly your friend and you could never know who was themselves with you.

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Thank you for reading! By the way, Elsea's favorite song is called "More Than Just the Spare" if you want give it a listen! Its a deleted song from Frozen that Elsea relates to in many ways. Anna and Elsea are very similar if you think about it 😂😂