Salvis Oneshots

💔Starry nights💙

Another vent chapter cuz I'm sad so Sal gets to suffer
I haven't read most of this in like weeks, apologies for errors or stuff that just doesn't feel right/overly wordy. I'll fix it someday. I like using first person, deal with it.

Cw: self hatred, overall breakdown

--Sal pov--

Travis :)

Hey, can you coem ievr?
Oover
Sorru
I kjow its late
Nevemridnd
Read 1:38 am

Yeah
Be there in 10

Shaky, choked breaths echoed throughout the messy, yet empty room. The lights of the outside world shuddered throughout and landed on various posters and piles of clothes. Though the room was full of life, full of love and emotion it still felt so...empty. Empty. So fucking empty. It reminded me of myself, in a weird way.

I'm just a shell, a body. I went through the motions, I lived how I was supposed to but the days went by like I was a stranger to my own life.

I set the phone on the bed, shaky hands lifted to hold in my cries. If the room wasn't so dark I wouldn't be able to see anyways from the tears escaping my pathetic excuse for a body.

Fucking pathetic

Asking Travis for help? Why the fuck did I do that. I've never needed anyone before, what's so different now?

Now I wanted his comfort? To be held and be told it was going to be okay? To feel okay?

As if

I took a deep breath, shuffling on the bed until my back hit the wall. The darkness of the room was comforting, yet lonely. The pit in my stomach grew as I thought, every thought pushed me deeper into this hole of hatred.

I stared at the wall for what seemed like hours. Staring into the chipped paint, staring into my chipped soul. Rocking myself back and forth, intense until I wasn't even controlling my body anymore.

Back and forth, back and forth. I widened my eyes as I spaced out, repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat mistakes. Repeat the guilt. Repeat the memories. Repeat the gut wrenching sadness. Repeat the hate you have upon yourself.

I twitched at the sound of the door opening, staring like a deer in headlights. I stopped rocking.

I sighed, I've never felt more relieved to see a preacher's son.

"Sal, are you okay? Uh, shit. Why- what can I do?" He walked over to the bed, slowly sitting down, his weight lowering myself as well until I was sitting lopsided next to the blonde boy.

I hiccuped between chest shaking sobs, fuck he's gonna think I'm weak. The backs of my hands glued to my teary eyes, trying to dry up my stupid emotions.

I let myself fall over a bit, leaning into his side. I half expected him to push me away, call me names, and run out the door. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and softly held my head against his side.

God, this felt nice. I melted into his touch, my eyes burned from tears and sleep deprivation. My body was weak, visibly sad and shrunk in on itself. Small. Invisible.